Marital Problems
Q: I am facing many difficulties and don't know what to do. Please advise me. I got married with the will of my parents and myself and the marriage got annulled because my family believe that the person who I married was not right so they pulled me out. I feel my family is very materialistic and they did not want to marry me again. I feel it may be jealousy since I was the most soft and good looking person. I was put in hardship and left alone with no hope of from anybody in family. They forced me not to get remarry. In the mean time I took
help from a person to be my wali in marriage. He misused me and some big sin happened. I repented and tried hard to protect myself and prayed to Allah Ta'ala. Finally with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala I got married. Allah Ta'ala blessed me with some children and we were very happy. After marriage one of my relatives helped me and that made me and my husband feel emotionally settled down and not lonely.
Later my relative also left me, now I am with my husband and children with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala but there are some serious problems:
- My health became weak. I can perform all the duties of family except outside work.
- Some of my husband's email reveal that he is involved with different prostitutes. I was suspicious of his behaviour but could not know that for sure until after 10 years of being with him since he does not talk and doesn't show emotions at all. Everyday he watches bad websites. I try to ask him, and help him in many ways in my best language but he does not reveal or nor share anything.
- My children also suffer some big health issues and they are a challenge for both parents to take care of them. I have no where to go if he divorces me. I asked him for divorce many times. I get mentally and physically very tired with his rude behaviour and secret life. He is a rich person he affords good to us and provides for us but he does not give moral support and a happy life to me and the children. He always trys to find fault in me no matter how hard I try to please him. I feel very helpless. I try to seek my husbands help whether being with him or not. He always says your wish he never gives his idea. He say he does not want to give me children and I am very afraid of the future since I am still very young and very afraid of my children's future.
Please advise me in the light of Sunnah and Qur'an and pray for me and my children.
A: To the best of your ability try to please your husband and obey him in things that are permissible in Shari'ah. Make dua for him after every Salaah that Allah Ta'ala guides him to the straight path and if you know of any senior pious Aalim who your husband is acquainted with then refer this problem to him and ask him to explain to your husband his marital obligations and guide him in Deen.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best.
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