Marital problems
Q: Im a married 22 year old girl. I recently got married in March, and only did the nikkah. (No ruksati). My husband was supposed to apply for my USA immigration however, he told me that due to some paper work he will not be able to apply before our official ruksati which was in January 2018. After which it would have me wait for another 12 months to get the visa and unite with him. The miscalculation was on part of my in-laws as they did not research about the immigration laws before coming for nikkah.
Long story short, me and my husband started to have fights over the phone on minor issues which meant nothing to me, he insisted I lose weight for him and fought me tirelessly to hit the gym, then he fought me over the fact that he needed a working woman. Note that this was not a requirement before nikkah. He got fed up of me and started to hate me calling him often. I was really upset about my immigrartion as I had to wait long to unite with him. I insisted that he came to meet me and get ruksati done sooner which he declined. He fought with me on the fact that i demanded his time, and cried when i asked him to sleep 10 minutes later. He fought me to leave him alone when he was angry with me, but i used to keep begging him for forgiveness and for him to be fine with me.
I only really missed him and was quite sad that my reunion with my husband was so far away even though before Nikkah my in-laws told me that after january i would be going to USA with him. Shortly during the fights, my husbands father intervened and emailed my dad that I have been irritating my husband and giving him a tough time. his father exclaimed that the children have major issues between them, however he also stated that he cannot find the real big reason for the fights. (as they mainly revolved around me asking for his time and attention) However, once my husband yelled at me for no reason and called his father and told him he is unhappy with me. (the reason he called was because I asked my husband repeatedly if he was doing okay as he was upset because he had a bad day at work) After that call, my hsubands father sent en email to my father asking for divorce and said that this is his final decision and he thinks our personalities dont match and that after ruksati we will most likely be unhappy. upon confronting my husband he was still confused about leaving me or not.
He took 3 weeks to decide and kept telling me we will be unhappy. i begged him to not leave me as i love him and all couples fight due to time issues as we had 13 hour time gap. I told him i only asked for his time as he was at work or with friends and unable to call me or text me for the whole of day. HE told me that i annoyed the hell out of him and that he asked me for space but did not give him. Now its too late to do so. I begged and begged, and I asked that he meets me in my country before doing it, he denied everything. he also isnt giving me the talaaq on the phone.
My question to you is , am i at fault? is this reason suffiecient before Allah to divorce me? I asked him to reconcile so many times and i told him i wont bug him as much. do you think he is hurting me? I told him that for Allah's sake reconcile with me as Allah does not like divorce on small issues, he told me that he wont stay with me for Allah. please tell is he on the wrong? or can he divorce me for any reason and Allah will forgive it?
A: Your husband does not seem to be committed to the shariah. He does not have the desired level of respect and understanding of deen. The better thing for you is to move away from him. To obtain a talaaq from him under the circumstance is not advisable, it is actually obligatory.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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