Girl consulting her parents in regard to nikaah

Q: I, on behalf of someone in my family want to have guidance from you regarding getting married.

A girl from our family wants to get married to a guy she likes. She has been in a relation with him some years back, when her brother got to know about that he confronted her and asked her to stop whatever she is doing (her friends always have been saying that the guy she is involved with is not of a good character, but she never paid any heed to them) but probably she realized that she is on wrong path and broke all contact with him but still inclined towards him with a niyat to get married to him and only him.

As Now her parents started looking for a guy for her, she confronted that she wants to get married to that particular guy only and no one else as she can not see anyone with herself except him. While family is objecting because:

1. He belongs to a different caste/lineage

2. There are lots of cultural differences/regional differences(they live in village and we are in city)

3. That guy as her friends used to say is not of a good character

4. He is a muslim by birth, but not known does he even offer salah or not.

Shaikh please help with this. I just can not see her mother weeping all the time, just guide me how can this matter be solved, wether by councelling the girl or her parents. Her father doesn't know about it yet, because he wants to get her married with her cousin, and if he. Gets to know hell will be broken. Please help me how this could be solved, what could be the right approach to tackle this issue.

A: The right thing is that she must not make her own decisions no matter how hard and difficult it seems to be. She should listen to her parents and take their du`aas.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)