Marrying a girl who doesn't make purdah

Q: I used to have intimate chats with a female cousin of mine. Later I repented and made tawbah. Though except this, I never talked to any girl except any necessary work in varsity. I spent time in tabligh and changed my life and made a promise to myself that I’ll spend my life following the commandments of Allah Ta'ala and upon the method of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and will strive for “I’laaye Kalima tillah”. 

Now my parents have made our engagement. She is still the same. She does hoteling. She wears tights and also makes jokes with boys. I asked her to change and she says that she will but she aint.

Now, recently my father forced me to say that I'll let her do job after marriage (She is doing MBBS). As her family asked for this and otherwise they were willing to break the engagement. I did so after consulting a Mufti. But after that, I cant really live with myself.

I have serious phases in which I get depressed and think that it is not fine. Sometimes I think I am being a hypocrite. Even in my past, I couldn’t fathom that my wife will be pardah-less and especially do these things that she does. (Ofcourse I am being a hypocrite.)

Please guide me. I am split. Beside this, even when I see other girls without veil and doing the things I mentioned, I become very upset that sometimes there are tears in my eyes that where is the Ummah going to. Moreover, she also asks me to talk to her and if I refuse she becomes angry. During my phases, I got alarmed when suicide thoughts started coming into my mind. Please help me.

A: A true believer is one who shows loyalty to his creator, Allah Ta'ala at all times. This is the very purpose of mans existence in this world. How can such a nikaah ever bring blessing and happiness wherein the spouses break the commands of Allah Ta'ala and do not fulfil the rights they owe to each other. Inform your parents that you are not pleased to marry your cousin.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)