Marital problems

Q: I got married when I was 21, and my husband was 36. When we met he was a non-Muslim, but reverted to Islam a month before we married. We have now been together for 14 years and have 3 Masha'Allah children. When we married, I did not practice Islam, or wear Hijab. About 2 years ago I realised that I had to make a change immediately and started wearing Hijab, making Salaah, and educating myself and my children on Islam. My husband was never interested. He always has an excuse, and has now even stopped going to Friday prayers. This is a huge concern for me as I worry about the example he is setting for our children. Whenever I try to speak to him about this, he laughs and says that I worry about everything. I've asked my father for help but he told me that I need to sort out my own problems. My husband has never had a fulltime job in all the years that we have been together. This means that I have to provide for him and our children (home, food, schools, transport, health, etc.) I earn a decent salary and I am able to provide for them but I'm exhausted all the time. Because when I get home from a full day's work, I still have to cook, see to the children, check that everything is prepared for the next day, clean, etc. There is almost no communication between us as we disagree on almost everything. I need to understand what my options are. I know that divorce is frowned upon, but I don't want to be married to a man who has no interest in Islam, or in me. What should I do?

A: This person does not seem to be a faithful Muslim. Respectfully ask him for a separation and move away from him, otherwise the whole home and your deen will be destroyed.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)