Premarital relationship

Q: I got engaged. In shaa allah, my marriage is on July 15th this year. I'm in touch with my fiance via phone. After engagement, she contacted me, texted me very well. Things were all good. At the starting, she used to text me a lot. Now, it all reduced. Whenever I ask what happened, she said that after marriage I'm going to spend time with you so let me spend some time with my friends.

She had two facebook profiles. One is for her family, and the other is for friends (her family members don't know she got another profile). She told that her family is very strict, so she has two FB profiles.

At the beginning, I thought it is ok. Slowly she started to tell few things about herself one by one. She used to smoke very rarely and hang out with friends (boys/girls). But, she is telling that all the boys are her friends only and nothing beyond that.

I've seen some of her pics with boys on FB. 1st pic (a guy was holding her hip and even she was holding him - mentioned in fb caption "after 7 years good pic of our friendship"). 2nd pic (she put her hand on another guy's shoulder and lying on him - in fb that guy uploaded and mentioned caption as "she is the only b**** whom I can trust. b**** finally uploaded our pic as requested".

But, she is trusting me and introduced all her friends and telling me about her secrets. I tried to control/advice her from partying and hanging out with her friends. I felt, she is getting upset with that.

My father in law and mother in law are very religious. But they gave lot of freedom to their daughters. Now I don't want my fiance to do any more mistakes (smoking/hanging out with friends and boys). Do you think that I should speak to her parents to advice/control her in a polite way or restrict her from going outside. Do you think, it will work out if I speak to her parents, whether she will think I've broken her trust?

By Allah's grace, I'm in love with her. I love her completely with full heart. I don't wanna lose her.

Two days before, she told me that she is going to give a bachelor party to her friends. I told her to give food treat, not spend any money on alcohol/smoking stuff. But, she is not listening to that. She is telling me that she will not spend money on alcohol, but buy sheesha for her friends and for her also.

I need your advice, how to handle her? By Allah's grace I'm really true to her and never think dumb of her or ditch her. I wanna marry her and enter jannathul firdous with her, in shaa Allah.

Moreover, whenever I see her pics with other boys in fb, I'm getting jealous of that. Even though she thinks all boys are her friends and spending time with them, but my heart is not accepting/imagining her with some other boys. Pls make dua to Allah to give sabr for me and guide my fiance in right path.

Her parents are very friendly. We used to chat everyday. More religious couple. Pls advise, if I can speak/discuss about her with my in-laws? Is it advisable?

A: This woman does not seem to be an honest, decent and reliable woman. Better than having problems later on terminate the relationship now.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)