Holding a grudge against one's father
Q: I am a 36 year old divorced woman living at my parents' place. I have some past grudges and current complaints against my father, I consider him responsible for most of my misfortunes; but since he is my father, I need to be respectful, but the problem is I get out of my control as soon as I happen to see him or even worse, if he speaks to me or wants me to do something for him. All my distress comes back and my injuries get fresh again. This is why I try to avoid him but most of the time this is not possible since we are living in the same house, though I keep quiet in front of him, but as soon as he is gone, I start shouting, cring, beating myself and cursing him and using abusive language about him. I don't do this intentionally but it just happens and I cannot do anything about it. I am extremely stressed and emotionally disturbed due to this. It's happening for more than five years.
Kindly suggest some remedy.
A: Your good fortune lies in showing kindness and love to both your parents. It is mentioned in the Mubaarak Hadith that your parents are either your paradise or your hell. If you treat your parents kindly, fulfil their rights and obey them in all permissible matters, then Allah Ta'ala will bless you with success in the Hereafter. Perhaps in the past, certain things occurred which were distasteful and against your wishes, however on account of this, you should not disrespect your father or hold any grudge against him. Ensure that you treat him with love and speak to him politely. Forgive him for his shortcomings and overlook his mistakes, Allah Ta'ala will be pleased with you and bless you with happiness and success.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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