A woman's fear of getting married
Q: I have a question about marriage, because currently from what I read, it seems that whenever I hear of the word marriage I also think of the word terror and fear. This is because generally fatwas mention so many hadiths about the serve punishments of the wife for every mistake or shortcoming she does. But they never mention any hadiths like the ones mentioned in the case of the wife of being punished, cursed or anything like that regardless of what he does to her.
I even once saw a fatwa about a woman who's husband broke her arm, and the only thing they said is regarding the permissibility of hitting the wife and then they were telling the wife to be obedient and not ask for a divorce. This made me so sad, because if it was the wife doing something much smaller they would have said so much about the punishments and would have told the husband to divorce her and find someone else.
Also, on the same website they always mention that unlike the wife who must sleep in the same ooom as the husband if he wants, the husband does not have to sleep in the same room and bed as the wife, even if she tells him she wnats them to be in the same room, unless he wants to and there is no seen for his refusal even if it is for no reason. Is this true?
Also, I always see things like the husband has the right to prevent the wife from studying, working, visiting her parents and friends even if he has no reason, just because he wants to. Does he actually have the right to not let her do these things for no reason and just because he wants her to be at home the whole time? Wouldn't this harm her emotionally because she is never allowed to go out? Is there a sin on him? Is he allowed to do whatever he wants with her?
A: You are grossly misinformed. The Quraan and hadeeth have largely defended the women, commanding the men to live with them with kindness. Allah Ta`ala has come to the defence of women in such a great way. And for the little good that she does, like obeying Allah Ta`ala and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and thereafter her husband, she is given the position of a shaheed and the righteous servants. Hence, there is no need for you to become terrified. This should be all the reason for you to understand how considerate Islam is towards women.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا (النساء: 19)
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