Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I got married to my husband 3 1/2 years back. On the day of my Walima I told my husband to take me to his village where he has his house and all his family members are staying. My husband had divorced his first wife hence he said he cannot take me as nobody will be happy and I cannot face my family members because recently I had divorced. Since then I refused to stay with my in laws because it hurt my feelings and I also had to face many questions from my own family as to why my husband is not taking me to his village. I settled with him in Dubai and in order to financially help my husband I started working because he could not afford to keep me with him in Dubai. After 1 1/2 year of our marriage I delivered a bay girl. Since she was too small I had to bring my mother with me. I never forced my husband to pay the expenses either for my daughter or my mother. Since myself and my mother both took care of my daughter my husband started to avoid his responsibilities. He is very fond of playing cricket and whole nights on weekends he plays cricket. His friends and relatives in Dubai are bachelors and I do not allow them to enter our house. He gets frustrated and starts fighting with me. Am I wrong on this? Things became wors during the past one year and I left my home with my mother and daughter to my home country India. Even after that my husband use to fight with me and stopped talking to me for 15 days. After waiting for 15 days I came back to Dubai and found that my house is all messed up as his friends and relatives were staying with him. He Slapped me and asked me why did I came. When I checked his laptop there were all nude photographs and dirty video clippings. We had big arguments and he threatened me with divorce and his family is supporting him in all this. In order to manage things I asked him to forgive me for all the arguments. He always says that he cannot afford to keep me with him and he wants me to go to his village and stay with his family and he shall stay in Dubai. In all this situation as per Shariah can I tell my husband that I cannot stay with his family. I really care for him and want him to leave all the bad companions and fulfill his responsibility. I always want to stay with him but the price that I will have pay to stay with him is work and share his responsibility and put my baby into babysitting because he doesn’t want my mother to stay with us. As per Shariah do I have the right not to stay with my in laws in such situation?

Q: I am fully confused about my life. I am married and my husband kidnaped me and married me, so I don't like him and I have one son also. I don't want to stay anymore with him. I am suffering a lot now. No more I want to suffer, so according to Islam what can I do? I have decided to divorce him and marry another guy because I am not happy. I want to be happy in my life so what should I do? Please help me.

Q: I m worried for a friend of mine. She is pregnant. Last week I met her. I was looking at her new mobile suddenly I saw she save some porn movies on that mobile. I was shocked. When I asked her she said O I don't know and delete that. I came home she called me next day and said that yes she watched that but now she will not watch it again. I said ok but I want to ask that this act of watching such movies can effect her unborn child? If the child is born, what kind of person he/she will be? Guide me I am very worried for her.

Q: I am really concerned. I need advice before leave without telling my husband. We have had an argument last night about leaving the kids by his ex-mother in law which he considers family. Is she family to him? He does not consider my mum family. His ex-mother in law barely practices Islam. On another occasion we had an argument. He said to me he can see I grew up wild, he insulted me I don't know what a women is like and he says if there is no respect there nothing. He slept in the lounge and today we are not talking so what should I do? I was planing on leaving because he said there is nothing.

Q: I am asking this question on behalf of my sister. She got married from two years now and alhamdulillah she is blessed with a girl baby. The problem is she was given 110 ounce of gold as maher. Her father in law is a bad person who has even tried to break their relationship for his personal intrest. In fact he has ego problem. Now he is holding the maher and says its given from my earnings not his sons. My brother in law is now trying to move from house but his father is not helping him financially though he is rich. Kindly let me know what is the status of maher in this situation. 

Q: A lady's husband passes away. After some years she remarries. Does the father of her late husband remain Mahram for her?

Q: I am engaged to the daughter of the sister of my father. In my child hood, mother of my father used to put her breast nipple in my mouth, whenever I cried. She was old then and had no milk in her breast. What I want to ask is it halal to marry with my cousin now?

Q: Normally a girl knows about her periods and if a girl tells her mom that she is not going to have her periods and the mom sets the date for the wedding but on the day of the wedding, she suddenly has her periods, the question is will her nikah will be valid or not because the girl is having her periods?

Q: A Molisab recently said in a bayan:

"The Islamic method of giving money to one's spouse (wife) is as follows; you should give her household shopping money so that she can buy food and other such things for the family (the husband and children). As regards to this 'shopping money' you are allowed to ask her to show you how she spent the money and she is not allowed to give sadaqa, etc from that money without your permission.

In addition to that you have to give her regular 'spending/pocket money' for her services to you as she can't go out to earn herself (as she is busy serving you and the children). As regards to this 'pocket money' after you give it to her it becomes her 'mi-lk' (possession) and therefore you can't ask her how she spent the money or who she spent it on, etc. If she wishes she can give it all to her parents and you have to right to ask or demand that she stops giving to her parents, etc.

The wife should also save up the 'pocket money' and give her zakat , go for hajj and perform other obligations with this money instead of paying zakat, etc from the husbands money "

Mufti saheb my question is - Is this statement of the Molisab correct?