Advice

Q: I am a 33 year old married man. I am really confused regarding my problem. I love my wife but I am not able to please her and give her a happy life.

Its been 3 years since our marriage. She was married to me with a lot of expectations to have a beautiful married life. After many treatments, my problem is still not solved. I am not able to satisfy my wife sexualy. I have premature ejaculation.

Moreover I have nil sperm count due to that she is not getting pregnant. The doctor said that I dont have the ability to make a woman pregnant. We can only try IVF.

We tried to perform by giving her oral pleasure and forplay and after she finish, I thurst. Its always makes our relationship more complicated.

I want to make her happy but if I am still like this she would never be. I feel that it would be better to divorce her so that inshallah she can get married to another man and have a better life.

Should I divorce her or should we keep living with the same issues?

Q: I feel like I am in a great trouble because I have to face an interview just after 1 month. I can't remember things, I forget things. My mind is not focused at all. I am worried weather I will be able to answer the questions of the interviewer or not.

Please help me in the light of Islam. What should I do?

Q: What is the advice a person can give to a transgender person to revert back to the ways of Islam and Shari'ah?

Q: I was a Hindu and have two daughters. After the death of my husband, I married a Muslim man. My younger daughter and I accepted Islam. My elder daughter is now eighteen years old and has not accepted Islam. My husband and elder daughter do not have a healthy relationship as a father and daughter. She never wants to talk about changing religion. She wears T-shirts and jeans outside the home and tops and pyjamas at home which my husband doesn't like. I feel helpless in all this and get too stressed.

1. I want to know if she doesn't accept Islam, will me and my husband be sinful?

2. Will we be sinful if she wears such clothes although she never wears sleeveless or other vulgar dresses?

Q: My father scolds my wife for house issues. I told my father not to scold her because I am her husband and she is not his daughter. What should I do and what does Islam say regarding this issue? Is my father allowed to do that or not? 

Q: My mother comes from a strict Barelwi family. They are firm on many aspects of bid'at in addition to meelad, such as niyaaz, 40 day functions, kheer puuri niyaaz, urs, qabar reverence, and the like. In fact, they are the organizers and sponsors of these baatil events.

My mother said herself that in view of this behavior of her family, finding a respectable wife will be difficult for me. She said that people consider all this in marriage. Is this true? I told my mother that she has never indulged in this bid'at since marrying my father 20 years ago. Furthermore, I too am not a bid'ati. In fact, people know that I have strong aversion for such things and am even against the Seerat Jalsahs of the so-called senior Deobandi Ulama in South Africa.

Will this behavior of my mother's family affect my marriage prospects? Do people consider this in marriage affairs? Surely they will investigate myself and parents before just looking at the extended family? Please advise my mother and myself.

Q: It's very important to avoid fitna.

When there is an isolated opinion which contradicts the general opinion, can we say that there is a difference of opinion/divergence?

Example, Pharaoh died a disbeliever. If there is a scholar who emits the possibility that he did not die as a disbeliever, is it possible to invoke the expression difference of opinion/divergence?

In the case of Abu Talib, he died a disbeliever. If there is a person who invokes the possibility that he was saved, that his repentance was accepted, is it permissible to say that there is a difference of opinion/divergence?

Should the book of a scholar be brought to the general mass, he has the right to write this in his personal capacity for his own reflection, but is it right to attribute to him a difference of opinion/divergence?

Could he have done this for people of the same caliber as him, that is, a book addressed to other scholars and not to the general mass of ignorant people? For a person who is not scholar who does not even have the basics a student is allowed to quote his isolated opinions and to invoke a difference of opinion/divergence, my question is can you give us a detailed clarification on this on the rules business and not to do?

Q: I have two children both under 8 and my wife wants a third child. I'm 49 and my wife is 35. My mother feels that I'm too old to have any more children. My wife feels she's still young and would like another child. My mothers reasoning is that with my age I might not see my child grow up and leave my wife with having to look after three children. Should I go with my wife's wishes or is my mothers views correct. What is the Islamic ruling and advise in regards to this situation.

Q: I am a 17 year old girl, currently in my final year of high school. Recently, I've been having a lot of thoughts about marriage and the purpose of a Muslim's life. I reasoned that there is no point in studying for many years only to die and end up without any knowledge of Deen. Hence I decided to get married once I'm done with high school. What are your views on this decision? 

Q: If a mother in law discusses something with her daughter in law and later her son confronts his wife in front of his mother demanding to know what the mother said, the wife remains silent out of respect for the mother in law and also to prevent an argument from taking place between the mother and son. The husband later accuses his wife of being disrespectful for not telling him despite her explaining her reasoning. He still won't see things from her perspective. Please advise if she was disrespectful towards her husband and what should she do if faced with a similar situation in the future?

N.B. The husband never admits to being wrong and cannot be reasoned with.