Marital Issues

Q: I have a question and hope to receive the answer in the light of Quran and hadith at the earliest. I am the only son if my parents, my dad has a multiple alignment but my mother though in her late 60's is in good health alhamdulillah,in addition to this I am married and have two kids and one wife. Soon after marriage my wife and my mother could not accommodate each other well and I often had to listen to their complaints. I always thought my mother was less at fault. After few years of marriage I created two kitchens in the same house, in spite of this problems remained and in 2010 when things went out of control, I bought a separate accommodation for my family on the instructions of my parents to shift. Slowly things started to improve and till 2015 all was well. During this period have fulfilled all my duties towards my parents as well as wife. Then In 2015 my Dads health deteriorated and we shifted back to my parental house. It was not a force to my wife, instead she willingly agreed to go back but with a condition that she will not put up in a different kitchen. I was reluctant to her condition and wanted to have a different kitchen for my family in our parental home. At last I reluctantly agreed. My worst fear came true, again my mom and my wife went well with each other for a year no doubt with minor issues. But after some time things started happening again and one fine day my wife decided to go back to her house, even I agreed as I was fed up of all the nonsense my wife was attributing towards my mother. I could no longer take the behavior of my wife towards my mother. Soon I agreed to shift and left my potential home once again, leaving behind a hurt parents, sisters and all relatives. Everyone very angry towards my wife and her parents and my in-laws towards me and my parents blaming each other. I did not offend my parents for my wife and gave my wife a separate accommodation she wanted. Have I committed any sin by leaving my parents alone though I visit them every day even twice a day and ask them if I can do anything. I have arranged a full time servant for them as well. I live 4 km away from my parents. According to me I had no other option but to shift as I could not see my mother being dominated by my wife, as my wife wanted most of the things to happen as per her taste. My wife is a good lady as well follows Islam, had good intentions but her short temper is all that is not good in her. I am very tense please advice me what should I do to ease out my life as this issues has fully engulfed me and I has become difficult to concentrate on other issues like work etc. Thank you very much.

Q: I want to ask a question on behalf my mum, who seeks to annul her marriage to my father. He refuses talaq, yet he does not support her and he lives in another town, he does not support me or my sister, but that is not the main issue, my mum is his second wife. His first wife passed away recently. He does not contact my mum but he does to come to 'visit', and he stays at his other sons house, and not by mum. For no apparent reason. My mum has supported us her entire life alone. She has never commited adultery or anything like that. She does require a divorce because he is neglecting his responsibilities to her. Please can you advise, or ask me for more clarity if you need to know anything more about this. Your assistance will help us a lot.

Q: I want to ask if a man embraced Islam for almost 13 years and his wife also and children embraced but his wife and children don't want to perform salah and other obligations of a Islam. His childrena ages are 20 years and above. What should he do? Is it right to divorce her?

Q: I have been married for a year now. 6 months into my marriage I found out that my husband had been cheating on me. He was involved with a girl even before we got married and he continued that unlawful relationship throughout my marriage with him. When I found out, I didn't have the courage to tell him I knew, so I indirectly told him to get rid of the girl to which he agreed. That didn't happen. He continued lying to me and having relations with that girl. Finally, after giving him a chance to fix things, a month ago I confronted him. I told him I knew he was involved with another girl and that what he is doing is completely wrong. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that he wants to continue our marriage and wants me to give him another chance. So I did, for the sake of Allah. He said he broke all ties with her. Atleast infront of me he did. I knew he was broken up because he loved that girl and I know he doesn't love me. The problem is, we aren't too close to eachother. He doesn't ever tell me what's wrong with him if something is bothering him. He suffers from anxiety and depression and tends to isolate himself from the world. I feel like he and I have alot of distance between us. We have not emotionally bonded due to which sometimes I feel like I am living with a man that is fulfilling his duties unto me but there is no emotional connection between us. I know it will take him time to get over that girl but it tears me apart. I will never know if he has truly stopped talking to her. He uploads random depressing posts and statuses from time to time and I cant help but think that they all are referring to that girl! How am I supposed to trust him after that betrayal? He has been trying to fix things ever since I confronted him, but I don't really know if he has actually let go of that girl. Its been a month now and at times my heart still feels very uneasy. I sometimes feel like he contacted her again but i will never know the truth. Yesterday he posted something about letting go and giving up on someone you love and his status said 'I hope you find a love that you dont have to question'. What does all of that mean? I feel like he is sending that message out to his gf! I dont know what to do! I tend to get so miserable. How am I supposed to spend my life with a man that does not love me? How am I supposed to trust him after all those lies? What should I do to improve my marriage? My heart hurts so much. I sometimes wish I never met him. And now I'm in love with him and I don't want to let him go. But I also can't continue to live like this.

Q: I am a divorced woman with 1 baby boy. My last marriage ended because my ex husband was draining me financially. He sent me a divorce as soon as our child was born. Life became very difficult and I was mentally upset for my child. I married again very quickly to the elder brother of a man my younger sister was engaged to. These people were also lower in status financially but we agreed to it because they were willing to take my son too. That man has turned out to be schizophrenic. He sleepwalks, tries to suffocate himself or me, assumes things and acts so scary that I feel concerned for our safety. He beats me, abuses me, tries to scare my son badly. I often find my son scratched in various places and scared. I am expecting another child now. He is using me entirely for money, treats me like a servant even though I am heavily pregnant and cant walk. I pay the bills, grocery. I even leave my kid with my sister sometimes because I feel too scared for what he witnesses. People of our society will kill me for another divorce and he is always threatning me with it. His entire family is like this and they want to beat me to the ground. They wont let me end my sisters engagement unless I want a divorce again. I am so badly stuck and I am always so afraid in his company. My son has also told me in broken language that he touches his private parts. Please help me! I am extremely worried and scared.

Q: My wife has left me to live with her boyfriend but we still talk and I still love her. Should I give her a divorce or try and get back with her?

Q: I am married from last 4 years and have no kids. My wife is from a big city and she always has a will to settle at her home city, but I was not ready. In 3rd year of marriage, she managed to take me to her home-parental city to settle. But then, she use to avoid me, spend times with her friends and relatives only not with me. She use to roam here and there like any college girl and avoids me.. Nor she cook food for me , nor she sleep nor even talk for an hours in a day to me & she use to insult me , directly - indirectly. NOT LISTENING TO ME IN SUPPORTS OF HER FAMILY - JUST AVOIDING ME , WHICH KEEPS ME HURTING & SURPRISING... So I decide to come back to my native place city and she refuse then ... she didn't come till date & from last 13-14 month I am waiting for her to come back . Intentionally She is not talking to me nor coming to my home s…..…..in an wish that she will not live with me at my parental house and forcing me settle at her maternal city, where i am not comfortable my whole family tried to talk her and ask her to come back … We have put an middle man to solve the issue and make them talk...but no result , whereas...... On the other-side her family starts creating Negative scene against me…. and her brother keep asking that middle man that we will file fake case of Dowry & domestic violence ..etc Till now i did not want to give her divorce but No response is coming from her & her family members --- we are totally BLANK from last 13-14 month , how to go about. Now we offer them , if she want an end-ship, she should give me divorce from her side , I am not give from my side to avoid to bear the legal consequences But Nor she is coming back and nor giving me Divorce !! How to Go about safer Solution , ........... Pls advice what to do in this situation... What is a FATWA advice for men like me : to get rid and free me from this lady and save my life.

Q: I feel so heart broken when my husband told me I must not wake him up for salaah or to remind him. He even told me he is already a sinner and halfway in his grave. I'm am obedient wife, always recite my Quran and went for pilgrimage. Should I just let him be to avoid any stress in our marriage.

Q: I want to ask if it is permissible for husband to talk and chat with his cousins daughter who is around 21 year? They talk several times' daily and he assure me that he cant marry her but still Im worried as i have read his conversations and he asks for her pics and want to talk on phone with her. He also want to open academy and want her to work as a teacher there as she is looking for a job. We live abroad, but i don't like this frequent chatting between them. So i want to know, is this 'friendship' a sin and haraam for my husband? How should I confront him?

Q: There is a women who is a revert and married to a foreigner. She knows very little about Islam and would like to learn, but her husband does not want her to learn Islam and also does not want her to cover her hair and body. When he is not at home she has started to come to madressa and covers herself. She wants to know if she is committing a sin by doing this.