Marital problems

Q: I need advice please. I'm going through a very tough time in my marriage. Its only been 3 years and I can no longer do this anymore. Please advice me whether I'm in the wrong or do I have the right to let this end please.

Its totally unacceptable for my husband to treat me this way. What kind man tells his wife dress up like a white women and behave like them. He pressurizes me to wear tight clothing and low tops to show cleavage. When I say no he swears me and tells me I'm old and boring yet I dress up in my home for him.

He searches other women on the internet, he looks around from head to toe at all those women that wear totally revealing clothes and still tells my parents I'm insecure!

His been on an escort site. I haven't even mentioned it to my parents because my mother seems to be on his side. He so fast to message my mother telling her how I'm behaving with regards to other women and how insecure I am. And all she says is when I find a job I'll understand and be more open minded. How is that being open minded? I can't be in this marriage anymore. The amount of things he does made me loose respect of him and makes me lash out at him. Is there any proof that says paying mehr money makes me his prostitute? I give up.

I have no one to rely on. I can't seem to speak to my mother about this because she listens and does nothing about it. Therefore my husband laughs at me telling me my parents don't speak up because they afraid his going to divorce me and then I'm their burden again. He keeps doing this and tells me sweep it under the carpet, its the past. So everytime he messes up I must forgive and just let it go? What's the point of marriage then if he says his allowed to do whatever he wills and I have no right whatsoever to complain.

Every single time he says I must let him look around and if he does I must be quiet I mustn't open my mouth. He says we young we must enjoy life we will be more happier if I just don't bother. Is he right? Please advise me on what I need to do.

A: Request him to divorce you. Your deen is your first priority in your life.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)