Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Is a step mothers brother a mahram?

Q: Is the brother of my step mother a mahram for me?

Family issues

Q: I need serious advice on a big decision in my life and I would like a religious aspect on what to do from someone other than my parents.

I am a 21 year old girl of Pakistani descent who immigrated to Canada with my parents around the age of 9. I am currently in University and about to graduate in a year. My parents are strict Muslims and my father is of Ahmadiya sect and my mom is Sunni. They both have had a turbulent relationship and used to always fight as back as I can remember (physically and verbally) to the point where my mother wanted a divorce but it never happened. Those fights affected my mother psychologically and she blamed me and my sisters for how her life turned out and how she wouldnt leave my dad because of us. I have never liked my father, mostly because how he treated my mother (did not let her work rendering her to household chores, fought with her constantly) and when he would hit/fight with my mom, I would defend her and he would hit me too (I was in grade 5). I actually resent my father. Due to my home environment, I confined myself to reading books and not talking to my parents and blocking them out.

As I hit puberty and started making friends, our cultural differences became crystal clear. In high school I wasnt allowed out late, they would go through my bags and rooms even though I hadn't done anything. Then I started going to university, and I met a boy that I liked. Me and him began seeing each other after class, we became friends then best friends and began dating. The problem was that he wasnt Muslim. We started dating intimately and I hadnt felt that way for anyone ever. I could confide all my feelings to him and be myself, I could say things and not be judged for being haram or reminded constantly about sinning, he became my outlet to express my emotions since I couldnt do it at home. Then my parents found out about him.

My life turned into a living hell, they house arrested me, my mom would cry and say how I deceived her, she would hit me often, call me absolute terrible names (whore, bitch, etc.) tell me that I am going to hell and taking her with me. My father just cut the wifi connection and told me to drop out of university. This went on for a year, my mom made me swear to God that I will never talk to him, and she would constantly remind me that I would go to hell and curse me. I got depressed and my marks suffered and I absolutely hated my parents, I started going for counseling.

My boyfriend became my biggest support, he felt terrible that he was the reason why I got into all of this, but truthfully it could have been anyone and they would have reacted this way. My parents still dont trust me, I turned 21 and they finally gave me a house key. I view my house as a living hell for me, I still believe in God but I do wonder one thing. I wonder what kind of religion my parents follow that makes them behave the way they do towards me. Growing up they always told me to fear Allah but said that Allah forgives everyone and that Allah loves the whole mankind. After growing up, I do not feel the love. I feel my parents hate me and they have only not kicked me out because they dont want to be judged by other people for failing to raise me into some carbon copy Pious Shy and Observant little Pakistani Muslim girl who only lives for her parents wishes.

This year I told them that I refuse to live by their rules and no longer need their permission and I am going to go travelling this summer to Europe with my friend. They said if I even try to I will not have a home to return to. I am sick of them and refuse to respect them for being tyrants and oppressing me and constantly threatening to kick me out if I even do one thing they disapprove of. I believe that everyone earns respect and is not granted respect just because they are entitled to. I also dislike my culture and disassociate myself from it because it has done nothing but make my life hell, by misogyny and double standards between men and women. I am pondering moving out this year so I can focus on myself and live my life according to how I want to. Except they have said they will disown me if I do so. I just want to know, if I should do it because I have no one else to talk to about it. I value my freedom and respect greatly and as an adult now refuse to let my parents disrespect me, talk down at me and try to shut down opportunities from me.

Sexual relationship before marriage

Q: Me and my fiancé were having a sexual relationship before marriage and I might be pregnant, we are both Muslim’s is there a way we can repent or is this zina and our child will count as zina?

Father in-law moving daughter in-laws furniture

Q: My query is that my inlaws rented out my portion of the house in my home country. My father in law also sent my furniture and my things to his daughters (my sis in law) room. He did this all without my consent. As far as I think, this is *Amanat* to use others property without permission. Me and my husband are having constant arguments on this as he can do nothing about this. My relation with my husband is getting affected. Please guide how should I handle this sutuation?

Touching one's mother while masturbating

Q: When my friend was 14 or 15 year old, he intentionally touched his mother while masturbating but he is in doubt whether the lust was due to masturbation or due to touching his mother. He has repented from his previous lifestyle. Has hurmat musahara occurred or not?

If it has occured according to hanafis couldnt he take fatwa of other scholars on this because if his father divorces his mother their family will get destroyed as he has other siblings also and they will almost become mad.

Getting married to a prostitute

Q: I know a girl and I like her but she is a sex worker and I have done a niyyat that I want to take her out of that so is it allowed in Islam to marry a girl who is a sex worker ?

Issuing talaaq to scare one's wife

Q: I got married 2 years ago to my wife who since then has been living at home. A lot of arguments had started between the family’s which then caused a lot of problems between me and my wife. 

2 years later she had applied for a Khula through the shariah council which they sent me a letter. I attended all the appointments in hope of reconciliation.

After the 3rd letter was sent out, she had issued a talaaq without my consent. 

Since then the qadhi (judge) told me she is in iddah and I could take her back and reconcile. The only problem I have was I don’t remember at all if I had said talaaq once in the past or twice with the intention to scare her and make her come to her senses. I need to know if the intention counts?

Also, during her iddah she had emailed the imaam and cancelled the talaaq that we have reconciled and doesn’t want to go through with the divorce. 

The same day the qadhi had emailed her saying talaaq has now been cancelled and we need to hand in our certificates. 

After a few days another argument arises and she tells me now after the 3 months iddah has ended where I was thinking I am still married that she told the imaam not to cancel it and carry on with the iddah

My question is am I still married to her as she cancelled it and then called the imaam to say don’t cancel it even though he said he has during the iddah me and my wife on many occasions had intercourse I am completely confused as in to f I am still married to her or not and so is she now and don’t k ow what to do

Please if I could have as much as information you can give me

Feeling lust when being touched by one's mother

Q: A few months ago after I had returned from a journey to my home, my mother touched me with her both hands on my face and she was crying as she missed me. She touched me 2-3 times and I felt strange and did my best to stop the feeling which might constitute hurmat musaharah. The feeling and notions stopped after few seconds but the private part reached its limit. This all happend within 15-20 seconds and my mother stopped touching me on my cheeks. Does hurmat take place? My parents are of liberal mindset and I'll have to face problems after announcing this. Should I keep quiet? Or reveal this to them?

Performing Nikaah after obtaining permission from the girl

Q: I just came to the US and I want to get married next year when my daddy goes to Africa, but I would not be there because I will be in school by that time. Is it permitted for the man to meet my parents and get married to me when I am not there?

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