Marital problems

Q: I am copying my first wifes letter to you in her own words. No matter how much one sided it seems. I will not defend myself or correct any of her claims. She insists on divorce due to my second marriage. Here is her question to you in her own words. Please guide her.

Assalam wa alaikum. I need guidance from you for the most crucial point of my life. Please guide me in the light of Quran and sunnah. I belonged to a white collared family. My husband saw me and insisted with my family and his family and married me. After a few months of marriage i felt he had no interest in me. He never showed his love to me and spent his time in watching television and computer.he ignored me abd came late to the bedroom.on my asking he became angry.i lived with his parents and his two sisters. Because my status was low i had to tolerate many injustice and unfairness . I could not tell my parents and siblings . whoever did injustice with me, it was never solved and instead ignored. Then i demanded from my husband that people from both families should sit and solve it. But he did not agree. Then i asked divorce from him. During this i had a son and two daughters. I regular tolf him that you are doing injustice and according to sharia its wrong. But in vain. After 17 years of marriage my husband secretly married a woman abroad. But it opened up. I have protected this mans home honor and honored his parents and served them. I love my children and try to do my duties to them. He did not do his responsibilities and declined me his love. How can this man do equality between two wives who doesn't know right from wrong.i don't see any way of resolve and i feel i have been grossly misused. I want to use the right sharia gave me. I want to go far away from this man who didn't give me even the smallest of happiness. Sura baqra ayat 235. Surah nissa ayat 2. 127-132. Says clearly that equality cannot be done. Please guide me. My husband himself told me about you. Im sending this letter through him. I have no peace whatsoever. Please guide me and pray for me.

This is the whole letter from my first wife. I would be very thankful if you give a concise reply in urdu, because she cannot understand English well. Thank you.

A: Meri raai ye he ke is baat ko apne khaandaan ke baro ke saamne pesh karo taake woh kuch rehnumaai kar sakte he. Shohar is baat ko samajhna chaahiye ke us ke zimmedaariya kya he aur adl aur insaaf kya he. Agar insaaf nahi kar sakta he to doosra nikaah karna jaaiz nahi he uske liya.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)