Being considerate to one's wife in regard to sexual relations

Q: I'm a high school girl and I have some questions about some things written in my Islamic studies book. There is a verse that goes "Whenever a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and then he passes the night in an angry mood, the angel curses her till she gets up at dawn" It is also written repeatedly that a woman must be sexually submissive to her husband and she may not even fast without his permission because he cannot have intercourse with her while she is fasting. This greatly distressed me. Allah is the most Fair and Knowing and I know I couldn't begin to understand His reasoning. However I'd like if you could explain to me why there doesn't seem to be the concept of consent on a woman's behalf in marriage. The common claim that "men get more sexually frustrated" does not seem to be enough as I think that he should still take in account his wife's consent and if he is abusive because of this that is no excuse.

A: Don't claim to be more fair and understanding than Allah. There isn't anyone that is more understanding and just than Allah. He has created a system in His wisdom and with perfect justice. The fortunate one is the one who listens, and your mind is too small understand the wisdom. Just as a little boy is commanded by his father to go to school and madrasah. The son does not have a choice to defy the father's orders. The fortune of the child is to obey the father and in time he will see the good of obeying his father unconditionally. For further details refer

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)