Making an effort to improve family relations

Q: A man who has two daughters has taken a second wife. His 12 year old daughter is very hurt and affected by this and does not want to speak to her father or have him pick her up or take her to school. He is very angry with her. Whose responsibility is it to mend the relationship? The mother encourages her daughter to have a relationship with her father and also encourages the father to be understanding, but he is now ignoring her. What should the father be doing in this situation?

A: Both should make an effort to improve the relationship. The daughter should be advised regarding the rights of her father and the father should be advised regarding the rights he owes to his child. If both continue to try to show the other a point and become more distant from each other, then they will only be giving Shaitaan an opportunity to break up the family. Hence, she should maintain a good relationship with her father and speak to him with respect. Similarly, the father should deal with the situation with understanding and compassion and should try to win the heart of his child. In this way, if each person makes a concerted effort to improve the relationship within the family and fulfil the rights they owe towards the other, the entire family will be united with love and harmony.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)