Educating children regarding "adult material"

Q: In some cultures, nowadays, parents tend to hide or cover a hadith or some Islamic knowledge from their children. They say that it’s something you’ll need to know when you grow up – as in when you get married. Should children – after puberty, at least – not have full knowledge about Islam before marriage? For example, there are ahaadith relating to zina. There’s knowledge about sexual intercourse, about pregnancy, about masturbation, etc. which most children do not know about; unless they’re very curious and tend to look up themselves, which causes further sins, i.e pornography.

Children would not know that masturbation is haraam unless it’s told to them. Masturbation is so common during youth, and children are not aware of the fact that it’s haraam, or if you did it, you have to do ghusl prior to praying. Should a woman/man tell their children about sexual intercourse right before the day of marriage, as this would cause fear in the heart of a young girl just before marriage? I heard a father telling their daughters about this hadith but only up till كَذَا وَكَذَا i.e. he left out the last 2 words, كُلُّ عَيْنٍ زَانِيَةٌ وَالْمَرْأَةُ إِذَا اسْتَعْطَرَتْ فَمَرَّتْ بِالْمَجْلِسِ فَهِيَ كَذَا وَكَذَا يَعْنِي زَانِيَةً Was this right of him to do so?

Also, women don’t allow their children to read full Islamic books, written by great people, like Bahishti Zewar written by Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi 'alaihi). They just let them read what they think is important for the “kids” to know, and leave out the “adult” chapters, even in the daily Ta’leem. Parents are oblivious of the fact that children are aware of everything they are aware of. Since nowadays, kids learn everything from their Biology textbooks and that, too, in detail—Isn’t it better that parents give them that knowledge by letting them read Islamic books, or by informing them of various sins i.e. as in what’s adultery, etc.?

A: Since these are all very sensitive areas, parents have to be very cautious and understanding before they educate their children in these matters. Let it not be that they experiment in these matters after you have cautioned them.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)