Distress for not receiving proposals

Q: I am 26 years old and my parents have been looking to get me married for the past few years as I feel ready. However in today’s society men are very selective with beauty. Unfortunately I’m not very tall and I have Vitiligo which although I cover up (to always remain presentable) I feel it is best to be honest about. But when the opposition are informed of it then they are no longer interested. Please could you assist with how to remain positive in this situation, as in today’s society it feels like I will never be accepted by anyone. I know everything happens for the best but this is causing me a major distress. I don’t have many options to cure or control my illness, I have been to many doctors and tried a lot of treatments. My self esteem has got very low and I am very much doubting if I will ever get married like my friends and sisters (though they have perfectly flawless skin). I am very practicing and have been making dua in tahajjud for the past three years, however I am still in the same boat. The last party were very religious and the boys parents were Alim and Alima. I always thought that if the family were pious then they would be more understanding but again it was a no due to my skin issue as it would be hard for the man to love me. This has left me with little hope and sadness. Please could you kindly advise.

A: There is no need to lose hope and be overwhelmed with distress and anxiety. Allah Ta`ala is the Most Merciful, yet he put His most beloved bondsmen, the Ambiyaa (alayhimus salaam) through the greatest of trials. Hence, tests for different people come in different ways. Reflect over their lives, the patience that they endured and then compare your problem with theirs. Further, there are so many other bounties of Allah Ta`ala that you enjoy which millions of fellow human beings are deprived of. Therefore, look at the positive aspects of life when you are faced by disturbing thoughts. At the same time, you may recite the following dua three times after every namaaz "Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer".

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)