Shaadi me pareshaani
Q: I'm so worried and confused about my Imaan and Aakhirah. Allah ke karam se Allah ne hmesha muje apna qurb or mohabat ata fermai he. Me ne 12 saal ki age se perda start kar diya tha or apne ap ko buraiyon se bcha ke rakha jo sb Allah ki di hui tofeeq or karam tha. Meri 18 saal me shadi hogai or mere husband 34 years k they But vo1 intehai ayaash parast or khurafaat mn mubtala insan h,bht women mn involved they or sexually satisfy krne k qabil b nai they I told my parents but thay adviced me to do sabar and said me not to anything to him. Ab hamari shadi ko paanch saal hogye he. I have two kids. Me ne bohot mohabat khidmat or wafa ki apne husband se, but wo mazeed burey se burey hote gye. Wo bht martey hn, galiyan dete hn, buraiyon mn involved hn, mujh se gher insani salook krtey hn, yaqeen karen mn ne hr trha se apni himat se barh k berdasht or koshish ki is relationship ko acha krne ki, Allah ki raza or parents ki izat k liye But jb husband ne daikh liya k mn unki sb herkaten berdasht krti chli ja rhi hun to vo mazeed bure se bure hi hote gye. Pesey bhi apne p or logon p bht khushi se uratey hn but mujhe choti choti cheezon k liye b bht tangi dete hn. Jb bht fedup hojati hun or mind bilkul mauf hojata h shadeed depression or tension ki waja se to muaz Allah ki shan mn koi ghustakhi ki bat nikal jati h jis p mn bad mn bht sharminda hoti hun but us waqt jese mera damagh mere control mn hi nai rehta Or ese hi husband k liye b bure alfaaz nikal jatey hn shadeed takleefon k bais Ab please in situations mn sabar k sath sath koi tadbeer or solution btayen Or muje tension ye h k shadi se pehle to Allah ki raza k mutabiq life spend kr rhi thi but jb se shadi hui h zindagi bht bht aziyat or takleef mn guzar rhi h or sath kbi husband k liye burey alfaz or Allah muaf fermaye kabi Allah se giley shikvon k bais akhirat b berbad na hojaye But mn kya krun jb aziyat berdasht nai hoti to mera apne mind p control nai rehta Ese to dunya or akhirah dono berbad hoti feel hoti hn Plz meri help kren mn kese in sb se chutkara paun or kese ye yakeen hasil ho k mera Allah mujh se razi he. Please help me I'm too depressed.
A: I am disturbed to hear of your condition. I make du`aa that Allah Ta’ala remove this difficulty from you and bless you with immense happiness in this world and the next. Aameen.
In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life. As far as your husband is concerned, show him the respect he deserves but don’t get consumed in what he is doing. Try to advise him as much as you can and leave the rest to Allah Ta`ala.
If he commands you to do anything impermissible, do not conform to his demands. If, per chance, he wants you to also view the evil and haraam on the internet or wants you to go to places where men and women mixing freely with each other and music is playing etc., do not obey him in these aspects. Remember, our allegiance is with Allah Ta’ala primarily. You are not compelled to obey your husband in anything that opposes the commands of Allah Ta’ala. If he persists that you must conform with him in these indecent and impressible acts, be firm and do not obey him even if he threatens to divorce you. It is much better for you to be living a life in conformance with the Shariah rather than living with him and disobeying Allah Ta’ala.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
Focus your time and effort on your children. Instil true values and morals in them. Shift your concern away from your husband and direct all your time and effort on your children. Let it not be that they also follow in the footsteps of their father. Don’t waste your valuable time fighting and screaming with him. This will affect your children’s upbringing.
At the same time, do not become depressed and drowned in your worries. This will give your husband and in-laws a chance to allege that you are mentally ill and that you are not fit to look after the children. You may then, even lose the custody of your children. Be strong, have courage and place your full trust in Allah Ta’ala and you will definitely find Allah Ta’ala to be on your side.
Make a point of reciting the Qur-aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily, gather your children read out some portion from the Fazaail-e-Aamaal. The recitation of the Qur-aan and noble Ahaadith of Rasulullah [sallallahu alayhi wasallam] will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding. Even if he doesn’t come to his senses, at least your children will not be neglected in any way.
May Allah Ta’ala remove your worries and bless you with happiness in this world and the next.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
