living separately

Marital problems

Submitted by user2 on Sat, 2018-02-03 06:23

Q: I asked my husband in our prospective meeting if we were going to live separately and he replied in the affirmative. At the time of Nikaah he told me we'll have to live together for 2 years so I can save. I reluctantly agreed. However in the first few months when problems started arising I asked him to move out and he kept assuring me that we will soon move out and things will get better.

Today it's over 3 years and we still haven't moved out. I cannot adjust to my mother in laws lifestyle at all. There's no timetable and she does everything at her own time and according to her comfortability. Also my Sister in laws keep coming many times during the week, on weekends and holidays. I don't seem to have my own space too. I'm entitled to one en suite bathroom and the room barely has any space. My son doesn't sleep in a cot as there's isn't enough room for one. He therefore sleeps with us in the bed. I'm having severe backache because I'm less mobile the whole night due to the tight space. Many a times my husband has to go to sleep in another room because of my back pain.

Last year when I asked him to move out he asked me to live together for two more years to which I clearly declined. (I don't know if I'm sinful about this) But now I feel I just can't cope with all this. My son is nearly two and he's still sleeping with me. I feel really frustrated and at times feel like terminating my marriage because I feel nothing is being done in support for me.

There's many issues too which I feel will get better if we move out. I've never been settled from day one and I feel I need to settle down for the betterment of our marriage. The fact that he keeps reassuring me that we're moving out and nothing is getting done physically really frustrates me and this causes me to have frequent arguments with him.

Providing separate quarters for the wife

Submitted by user2 on Thu, 2018-01-04 07:11

Q: I am married for 3 and half years. I stay with my in laws but its very difficult to stay with them. I want my husband to take a seperate house. What is the process and how can I do it?

Maa baap ki khidmat

Submitted by user2 on Mon, 2018-01-01 06:15

Q: Mara masla ye hy k hum 2 bahi or 3 behn hy. Mary dono bhai ki death hogai hy. hum 3 no behny married hyn. ma bhai ki death k bd apny parents k sth rehti hu. walid sahab ghussa k taz wo choti choti bato pr mjhy or husband ko galia daty hy 3 4 bar husband ghar chor k chly gay or mjhy 2 dafa talaq bhi da chukhy hyn. mary parents cardiac pt hy. Abu k dil k 3 valve bnd hy. ma unko nhi chor skti. husband kehty hy jasy tumhari 2 no behny alag rehti hy tum bhi alag ghar ma chlo. mari smjh nhi ata kia kru. jub bhi Abu ko ghussa ata hy wo bolty hy mary ghar sa nklo. jub k ame bhi zaeef hy us kaam nhi hota. kia kru?

Mia biwi alag rehne se faskh ho jata he?

Submitted by user2 on Thu, 2017-12-21 06:28

Q: Main ne suna hai k agar larki baghair kisi waja k khawind ko chorr kar susraal main ziyada time rahey (Like 3 saal), jab k iss doraan mian bivi k darmiyaan kisi qisam ka rabta ya talooq na raha ho, tu iss waja se nikah fasq ho jata hai. 

Is it necessary for husband and wife to live together after nikaah?

Submitted by user2 on Sat, 2017-10-14 07:11

Q: Is It necessary/compulsory for husband and wife to live together if/after they consummated the marriage (via having jimaa) and if they don't live together will they get sin?

Marital problems

Submitted by admin on Tue, 2017-10-10 14:56

Q: I have a question and hope to receive the answer in the light of Quran and hadith at the earliest. I am the only son if my parents, my dad has a multiple alignment but my mother though in her late 60's is in good health alhamdulillah,in addition to this I am married and have two kids and one wife. Soon after marriage my wife and my mother could not accommodate each other well and I often had to listen to their complaints. I always thought my mother was less at fault. After few years of marriage I created two kitchens in the same house, in spite of this problems remained and in 2010 when things went out of control, I bought a separate accommodation for my family on the instructions of my parents to shift. Slowly things started to improve and till 2015 all was well. During this period have fulfilled all my duties towards my parents as well as wife. Then In 2015 my Dads health deteriorated and we shifted back to my parental house. It was not a force to my wife, instead she willingly agreed to go back but with a condition that she will not put up in a different kitchen. I was reluctant to her condition and wanted to have a different kitchen for my family in our parental home. At last I reluctantly agreed. My worst fear came true, again my mom and my wife went well with each other for a year no doubt with minor issues. But after some time things started happening again and one fine day my wife decided to go back to her house, even I agreed as I was fed up of all the nonsense my wife was attributing towards my mother. I could no longer take the behavior of my wife towards my mother. Soon I agreed to shift and left my potential home once again, leaving behind a hurt parents, sisters and all relatives. Everyone very angry towards my wife and her parents and my in-laws towards me and my parents blaming each other. I did not offend my parents for my wife and gave my wife a separate accommodation she wanted. Have I committed any sin by leaving my parents alone though I visit them every day even twice a day and ask them if I can do anything. I have arranged a full time servant for them as well. I live 4 km away from my parents. According to me I had no other option but to shift as I could not see my mother being dominated by my wife, as my wife wanted most of the things to happen as per her taste. My wife is a good lady as well follows Islam, had good intentions but her short temper is all that is not good in her. I am very tense please advice me what should I do to ease out my life as this issues has fully engulfed me and I has become difficult to concentrate on other issues like work etc. Thank you very much.

Living separately

Submitted by user2 on Tue, 2017-09-26 06:39

Q:

1. What is the ruling on separate living for a married son with his wife from his parents, given that the son is the only male child and the couple had undergone love marriage?

2. To whom are the duties and responsibilities of a married man more, his wife, children or unmarried siblings?

3. If a married daughter is not permitted by her husband to visit her parents provided that her parents dont have a male child, what can she do?

4. For a working married lady whose parents have no male child and source of earning, is she required to give some share of her salary towards parents despite the fact that her husband is not willing to do so?

Kya alag rehne se nikaah tootta he?

Submitted by admin on Sat, 2017-07-15 08:13

Q: Nikaah ke batil honey ka time period kiya he?

Asking for faskh due to mistrust

Submitted by user2 on Thu, 2017-04-27 07:26

Q: Me and my wife are currently separated but not divorced. We have been separated for 6 weeks now. My questions are as follows:

1. How long are we allowed to be separated before our marriage will be null and void?

2. My wife wants a fasagh, however I want to reconcile. The problem was that I borrowed money from a friend and never told my wife and she only found out afterwards that I borrowed money from a female... Is she allowed to be granted a fasagh on the basis of mistrust and lies?

3. If she insists on a fasagh and I dont want to because I still love her and for the sake of our children, can the Alim force her to give me a chance even though her parents don't want her to take me back?

Husband not fulfilling the rights of his wife by living in another city

Submitted by user2 on Wed, 2017-04-26 15:19

Q: I have a few questions regarding my married life

1. If a wife cant do anything without the permission of her husband then whats the difference between a slave and a wife. If a wife cant have permission to study for a job or she is begging her husband to give her permission to see her father or relatives, however her husband is not living with his wife. He is working in another city and his wife is living with her in-laws. 

2. My husband is working in another city. He comes home once a month. I'm living with my in laws; my father in law, mother in-law, my two single brother in laws and two single sister in laws. Its been three years since my husband is working like this. We have two kids. Whenever I ask my husband to come stay with us forever, he says that he cant because this is his job and he cannot find another job there. He fights with me that I musnt tell him every time to leave his job coz if his rizq is there then till the time Allah has written his rizq there he can't come. Im very sad and cant live without my husband anymore. If I ask my husband to come and live with us is it permissible for me? I married to him to live like a family with him not alone.

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