Q: Please could you advise me on the following matter. I am considered Islamically mature and have been for nearly 10 years. I have met a potential spouse who was introduced to my family and wants to make nikkah with me. My family are refusing based on the following reasons:
1. The age difference between him and I is too much (9years)
2. He is too old for me (he is 27 years old)
3. I am too young (19 years)
4. I do not have a degree/career and I am cannot stand on my own two feet yet
5. He resides in a different continent
6. He is from a different cast to me
In terms of his Deen and character, we have heard pleasing feedback from neutral sources. He earns a halaal income and will be able to provide for me. His family are very supportive. They have agreed to send me home twice a year and allow me to continue my studies, illustrating their willingness to accommodate my family's reservations as far as possible. But to no avail unfortunately; my father does not want me to take this step despite my plight. My father and I do not have the same understanding, because he would rather the boy and I "go for coffee" and "go for movies" and remain friends. However I unlike him realize there are 3 things that shouldn't be delayed (salaah, burial and nikkah), and we shouldn't refuse proposals based on unIslamic reasoning. My father unfortunately has not made the wisest decisions in his lifetime which makes me want to do the 'right' thing even more; in a halal manner. I myself have made istikhara and feel very content in my choice of a life partner. I continue to make duaa for guidance from The Almighty. Please advise the way forward considering my father is using abusive language, due to me still being firm in this decision of mine. His reasoning for me is not Shariah compliant, feel free to correct me if I am mistaken.
A: Let family elders of both sides discuss these matters and the elders of both ends should be agreeable. Don't do anything without consulting them.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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