Miscellaneous

Meaning of having pride

Q: My questions concern the notion of pride in Islam. I would like to clarify that I am a man, and I apologize for the length of my questions. 

I would like to know whether pride is permissible in Islam—pride without arrogance, while being aware that it is Allah who provides. For example, is it permissible for me to tell my younger brother that I am proud of him for passing his exams? 

From what I understand, pride in one’s ancestors, origins, and ‘asabiyyah is haraam. In parallel, Allah the Most High says: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing and All-Aware.” (Qur’an 49:13) However, if this pride is not accompanied by arrogance or a feeling of superiority over other lineages and origins, is it permissible? I am obviously referring to Muslim ancestors of our origin, not disbelieving ancestors. Is it permissible to be proud of their history, their courage and bravery in fighting in the path of Allah, their good character, their way of dressing, their traditional craftsmanship, and to promote this pride among members of my people? 

Likewise, is it permissible to be proud of one’s culture of origin—clothing, traditional food, craftsmanship, way of life, etc.—and to promote this pride among one’s people and encourage them to preserve certain cultural elements? I am referring here only to permissible customs. I would also like to clarify that I appreciate seeing Muslims from other backgrounds being proud (without arrogance or a sense of superiority) of their cultures. For example, I appreciate seeing Arabs being proud and encouraging other Gulf Arabs to wear the shemagh/ghutra, or Afghans/Desi people wearing turbans and the salwar kameez. I mention this to show that my feeling is not limited to my own people, but applies to all Muslims without distinction. I also believe this can help counter the homogenization caused by the westernization of Muslim societies. If this is permissible, but this cultural pride is tied to the fact that we consider it the heritage of our (Muslim) ancestors, is it still permissible? 

Finally, is it permissible to feel proud (without showing off, arrogance, or a sense of superiority) that people recognize my origin based on the clothing I wear when I travel (for a few days, not long-term) or during celebrations such as Eid (I live in a multicultural place where such clothing is not considered لباس الشهرة)?

Toenail reconstruction for a permanently damaged toenail

Q: I am a Muslim woman and have a permanently damaged toenail due to trauma. Although it is not causing physical problems, the appearance of the nail causes me significant embarrassment and distress and affects my confidence. 

I am getting married soon and would like to know whether it is permissible to use a cosmetic toenail reconstruction or similar treatment to restore the appearance of the damaged nail. My intention is not simply beautification, but to conceal and correct a defect that resulted from injury and that causes me considerable emotional distress. 

If such a treatment forms a layer over the nail, how would this affect the validity of wudu? Is there any allowance in this situation, or would it need to be removed for wudu?

Rectifying one's relationship with one's mother after her demise

Q: My parents are no more. During my mother’s lifetime, due to various reasons, I was sometimes harsh with her. I used to shout at her and speak rudely, and unfortunately I could not ask for her forgiveness while she was alive. 

However, during the final stage of her life, around two hours before her death, she became very ill and I took care of her sincerely. At that time, she gave me many duas. But throughout my life before that, I regret that I was often rude to her. 

Whenever I pray Salah, I constantly ask Allah for forgiveness for the way I behaved with my mother. Even after her death, I once saw her in a dream. In the dream, I was saying to her, “Please forgive me, Mom. If you do not forgive me, Allah may also not forgive me.” She did not say anything and was only looking at me. 

Please guide me on how I can seek forgiveness properly and how a person can know if Allah has forgiven them for such a sin.