Marital Issues

Q: My wife wants to stay at her sister's residence for a couple of nights alone. However, the husband of her sister, although her first cousin, is not a mahram and therefore it is not permissible for my wife to stay there because he will be around. There is no other mahram in that house. All three of them know very well that it is not permissible but my wife is rebellious. Her sister and her sister's cousin husband pray regularly and fast regularly but when it comes to such matters, they throw islamic injunctions away and never guide my wife but assist her in her rebellious ways. Now, even in Western countries, it would be unusual for a woman to be staying without her husband a night at her sister's with the sister's husband around. Nothing reasonable has helped guide my wife and her blood relations away from creating problems in many matters, even prayers for their guidance so far. So, what should I do in this situation? Should I also pray against her blood relations because their injustice and interference is growing and is causing deep problems? (Is it possible for you to reply to me soon because my wife plans to go there tomorrow?) Thank you.

Q: I went to a haafiz who is very well known to be able to find out if anyone is possessed. I have been having problems with my wife for a long time and been separated for around nine months. He had asked for a picture of me and my wife which I sent. He has said to me by looking at the picture all the things that my wife has been doing and all the things that have been happening in my marriage. He also knew what my wife had done to me as in mentally draining he also said a few thing about my mother in-law trying to break my marriage which was also right. He has advised me to leave her as he only sees destruction for me as my wife will never change and that her mother has corrupted her. I am not sure what to make of this. Should I follow what he is saying or not? He is very well known to be accurate and I believe its called muraqaba that is what he may have done but he knew a lot of information about my marriage by just looking at my and my wife's photos and our names and address. I need help as I am not sure what to do. Should I leave my wife or not?

Q: My daughter got a marriage proposal from a boy. My daughter is doing 3rd year aalima course at a local madressa and will complete end 2017. This proposal now came and she said she can only marry after completing her aalima studies in 2017. Due to pressure from boys side to marry earlier and after speaking to her family and friends. She gave in and accepted the proposal on condition that she could complete her 3rd year studies which ends in December 2015. Now a problem arose and the boys side are pressurising her to marry in 3 weeks time and they said she has to obey as its haraam if she doesn't marry immediately. We, the girls parents, family are siding with her to marry end 2015 when her madressa closes. What do we do in this situation. She is not mentally ready to marry now as she only intended marrying after completing aalima course in 2017. So now the proposal came and after excepting she will marry end 2015 the boys side wants to marry in three weeks time. They say its not permissible to wait till end of 2015. Please advise as we are in a dilemma.

Q: I married in 2000, having son and daughters. I love my life and wife but before two months I checked her email and found that she is in relationship with another person. She said that it was just attachment not love and she applogised. I forgave her but two days before I again found that she is still in relation with the same person and now she swore on quran that she will never meet and call him. She said that he gave gifts to her in this 1.75 years relationship and he wants to take take them back from her, therefore she talked with him now. But now on quran she said that she do not want him, she only want to live with me and my childrens. I am completely broken now and confused what to do? I therefore ask you to help me.

Q: I want to ask the most important question of my life. Please answer me. I am married since 12 years. I have three daughters. My husband is nice, takes care of me and our girls but he has just one very bad habit; he talks to other women on the net and phone and he talks real bad things and these ladies I don't understand want kind of women they are. I don't know if he has any physical relations too or not. It's very painful. I have tried every thing. He himself says that there is nothing missing in me but he just can't leave this habit and he don't want to leave it too. What should I do? Should I stay in this marriage as I have 3 daughters who need their father or should I leave? I personally don't want to end my marriage but its not easy to tolerate all this what should I do?

Q: I am very tensed due to a few circumstances in the home now. When I was married my husband was earning and all his income went on my sister in-law's high fee, their dresses and other stuff and my mother in-law kept all his money saved. For full four years my husband gave me nothing and we saved nothing and then my son began to go to school and and then the other expenditures started along with the birth of second child. My husband's other brothers they also started working and what they earned they saved and now they have enough money. My mother in-law has enough money to spend on herself, but my husband who gave all what he has to his family is now hand to mouth. I always believe that virtue comes back to its doer but this happened not in my case. My in-laws are against me because they are not enjoying my husbands money because of our own expenditures. I am tensed because I have to do a job to bear the expenditures and my husband is tensed that we have saved nothing and his support is never regarded in the family. The only thing which my dewar did is to get a ups for the whole family and my saas tell this to all eveytime every day and my husband who used to keep all the money in his mom's hand, she has said nothing in her favour. Before my dewar's wedding I was the only target of my saas, she used to scold me but after wedding she had seen the new bahu's behaviour. She is a bit changed towards me but why I suffered so harsh for 10 years? Why was I unfortunate enough to bear and face all that?

Q: My Husband is impotent and his behaviour is very bad with me. Actually this is his second marriage and he is psycho also. I want khula please help me mufti sahab, he always teases me, shouts and scolds me. I even can't talk with my parents. We are separate for the last three years and I will not go back. Please help me.

Q: My husband is involved in many bad activities, takes so much interest in other women and porn but with me he is too rude and disrespectful. He always makes me feel down, as I'm such a useless thing and he is allergic to me. He doesn't want to see me, talk to me or have sex with me. His all desires are just for outside. It's too hard life for me. I'm living in great pain in every moment of my life due to his behaviour and activities and when I'm so much depressed and say something to him or about him, it will cause punishment for me in akhirah. I don't know what to do. I feel like my both worlds (dunya and akhirah) are hell due to this man. Please advise me some solution in the light of Islam so that I can live a happy life here and can enter in Jannah in akhirah.

Q: I and my wife are currently experiencing marital issues/problems. After a heated argument/exchange I said to her that she must be out of the house when I get home. On my return that evening I found that my wife had indeed left, taking our four kids, all of their clothing, all of the groceries and some items which belonged to me. Apparently she went to her friends home and later that week to family (She was gone for a whole week), Subsequent to this I was served with a protection order wherein the Magistrate declared that I am to leave the property and that I am barred from entering my home until some time in October when the court will make a decision relating to the order whether it may make it permanent. I have been in a state of depression ever since and am now sharing a BED with my uncle as I have no other place to go to. I have not issued any Talaaq but have been instructed by her family that I must continue paying the rent and expenses as nafaakaah. Firstly, what rights do I have here, my wife does not want to re-concile saying that she needs time as I have caused too much damage over the 14 years of marriage. She says that she has until October, this is very unfair to me (my opinion) Admittedly I have done wrong in the past, I have expressed regret and remorse but she seems to not be listening / willing to let me back. I love my kids and do care for my wife and do not want to lose them. Please guide me and assist me here even if the pill is bitter to swallow.