Disclosing health problems when getting one's children married

Q: My girls have some health problems like thyroid and cholesterol. Do I need to disclose them or hide them at the time of their marraige. Since my marriage is in trouble and my husband is against marrying the girls early, what would be appropriate for me to do? I feel that our house is not favorable for them to flourish and they don't have any social life and they are Alhamdu-Lillah very good girls. They already suffer my health issues and our divorce issues since they are 5. I want to marry them early (early teen) so that they can lead pious lives.

Marital Problems

Q: I am facing many difficulties and don't know what to do. Please advise me. I got married with the will of my parents and myself and the marriage got annulled because my family believe that the person who I married was not right so they pulled me out. I feel my family is very materialistic and they did not want to marry me again. I feel it may be jealousy since I was the most soft and good looking person. I was put in hardship and left alone with no hope of from anybody in family. They forced me not to get remarry. In the mean time I took
help from a person to be my wali in marriage. He misused me and some big sin happened. I repented and tried hard to protect myself and prayed to Allah Ta'ala. Finally with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala I got married. Allah Ta'ala blessed me with some children and we were very happy. After marriage one of my relatives helped me and that made me and my husband feel emotionally settled down and not lonely.

Later my relative also left me, now I am with my husband and children with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala but there are some serious problems:

  1. My health became weak. I can perform all the duties of family except outside work.
  2. Some of my husband's email reveal that he is involved with different prostitutes. I was suspicious of his behaviour but could not know that for sure until after 10 years of being with him since he does not talk and doesn't show emotions at all. Everyday he watches bad websites. I try to ask him, and help him in many ways in my best language but he does not reveal or nor share anything.
  3. My children also suffer some big health issues and they are a challenge for both parents to take care of them. I have no where to go if he divorces me. I asked him for divorce many times. I get mentally and physically very tired with his rude behaviour and secret life. He is a rich person he affords good to us and provides for us but he does not give moral support and a happy life to me and the children. He always trys to find fault in me no matter how hard I try to please him. I feel very helpless. I try to seek my husbands help whether being with him or not. He always says your wish he never gives his idea. He say he does not want to give me children and I am very afraid of the future since I am still very young and very afraid of my children's future.

Please advise me in the light of Sunnah and Qur'an and pray for me and my children.

Tawajjuh

Q: I read that sufi shaykhs make tawajjuh (by talking to them and staring in their eyes) to their new murids, and the murid would experiance wajd or jazbah, this would be kind of ecstasy or so, and could result in joy or  crying, sadness, falling down etc. What is the truth behind this?

Living with a girl without nikaah

Q: My son is divorced for 2 years and started a relationship with another girl, he impregnated the girl (Muslim girl) and for a year he has been sleeping off and on at the girls house and the girls parents have allowed him to stay there during the weekends. He has committed a big major sin (zina). What really puzzles me that the family of the girl condones this behaviour. A child was born on last Saturday and they giving the child’s name on this Saturday coming and we were invited. I told my wife we will not attend this gathering because all that will attend are collaborating in sin because they and their friends have accepted this situation to be OK. My question is, am I doing the right thing by not going and secondly he did not invited us in person but by SMS please advise. My son does not go to mosque,does not live like a muslim, swearing very bad and ugly words at his ex-wife. He wants to take his son to stay with this girl and he teaches his son from the first marriage that this girl is the child’s step mother. He even teaches his son to call his mother a _____ . The child is only 4 years old. We try to instil Islamic values into this masoom child, but he teaches the child ugly words and adult phrases to say to his mother (ex wife). He gave his first wife three talaqs in one go, just so that he can have more time for his friends. He has no respect to his own mother and told her on several occasions that she is dead. He does not make salaam to his mother. He comes there sometimes because the child sleeps by us and that’s it.

Adjustment of the Islamic calender

Q: Regarding the recent adjustment of the Islamic calender, I came across an interesting obversation from the internet regarding hilaal. What is this Shariah standpoint regarding this view? It's perhaps a silly question to ask because if Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasllam) said so what is the need for clarification? But again I am a layman and need guidance from our elders. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Fast when the hilaal is sighted, and stop fasting when it is sighted. If due to overcast conditions, the moon is not sighted, then it will be a 30-day month.” What is the problem with this instruction of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)? What is so difficult that makes it impossible to observe this command? Why do people display an aversion for the Sunnah? Nothing but deficiency of Imaan and deficiency in love for Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) are the causes for treating the Sunnah and the Shariah with disdain. That's the obsevation  I read which made sense to me but I await the response of the muftis on this.