Issuing talaaq to scare one's wife

Q: I got married 2 years ago to my wife who since then has been living at home. A lot of arguments had started between the family’s which then caused a lot of problems between me and my wife. 

2 years later she had applied for a Khula through the shariah council which they sent me a letter. I attended all the appointments in hope of reconciliation.

After the 3rd letter was sent out, she had issued a talaaq without my consent. 

Since then the qadhi (judge) told me she is in iddah and I could take her back and reconcile. The only problem I have was I don’t remember at all if I had said talaaq once in the past or twice with the intention to scare her and make her come to her senses. I need to know if the intention counts?

Also, during her iddah she had emailed the imaam and cancelled the talaaq that we have reconciled and doesn’t want to go through with the divorce. 

The same day the qadhi had emailed her saying talaaq has now been cancelled and we need to hand in our certificates. 

After a few days another argument arises and she tells me now after the 3 months iddah has ended where I was thinking I am still married that she told the imaam not to cancel it and carry on with the iddah

My question is am I still married to her as she cancelled it and then called the imaam to say don’t cancel it even though he said he has during the iddah me and my wife on many occasions had intercourse I am completely confused as in to f I am still married to her or not and so is she now and don’t k ow what to do

Please if I could have as much as information you can give me

A: The talaaq is valid even if the intention was just to scare her.

If you had issued just one or two clear words of talaaq then you may reconcile. And if it is three then there is no way that you can reconcile.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)