Q:
1. I have advised my family that on my passing they should not hold any gathering of 3, 10 or 40 days but instead make dua for me to get the sawaab. Please advise if this was right or wrong.
2. I also do not attend any zikr or khatam programmes organised by my family and gave them the reason that I have noticed that during these events, the programme continues into salaah times thus many miss their salaah. Please commment.
3. I am asked again and again as to why I do not stand for salami and why I do not read salami. Can Mufti give me an answer that will satisfy them. I advised them that as far as I know the Angels deliver the salaam and durood to Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and also that I do not believe that my Nabi is present in these gatherings.
A:
1. It is excellent advice.
2. Your non-participation is not only good, it is in fact important. These people do not have the right understanding of deen. You should politely explain to them that performing namaaz with jamaat and then making dua for the mayyit will be much more comforting for the deceased.
3. It is true. What you are saying is correct. Allah Ta`ala has appointed an angel to convey the salaam to Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) if it is from afar and if the salaam is given at the Raudhah Mubaarak, the blessed grave, then Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) listens to the salaam personally. This appears in Baihaqi. Further, is this not a form of disrespect to Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) that we only convey salaam at an event? Durood and salaam is such a mubaarak work that it should be done everyday in the life of a Muslim. Our elders, such as Moulana Gangohi (rahmatullahi alaih) advise that the minimum a person should recite is 300 durood in a day.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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