Q: My father ordered me to respect my older brother but if my older brother insults me or yells at me, can I insult him with the same insult and use the same tone of voice. I don't respond to his abuse due to my dad's order which may make my older brother think I fear him furthering the abuse and my hatred toward him.
I feel like if I don't respond to him and the steam keeps building up in my heart and we fight one day (may Allah protect us both), one of us may end up in jail. If I could just throw some of his abuse back in his face maybe all of this corrosive hatred that I have toward him may go away. But right now I can't sit next to him due to all the hatred I have for him.
As weird as it sounds, me being able to respond to him may actually help ties of kinship because with my sister with which I fight verbally when there's a heated disagreement I feel like I couldn't feel this hatred for her in a sustained manner but with my brother I feel hate toward him just by thinking about him.
A: It is better for you to remain silent. If there is any good in what he says then listen to him. Otherwise, you do not have to obey him in things that are not right.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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