Q: My son has seen a girl in our town and is interested in proposing to her. He would like to do it the correct way by approaching the parents to ask her hand.
However, he would like to first make Istikhara to see if she is a suitable spouse. As his parents, we feel she would be a good match as she is a homely girl who doesn't gallivant the streets and keeps to herself.
Please provide us with the Istikhara dua or namaaz that he can read in order for him to make his decision.
A: When choosing a life partner, the Hadith teaches us that apart from basing one's choice on beauty and good looks, one should look at the level of Deen in the person one wishes to marry. If one finds the person to be from a pious family and the person also is pious, possessing good character and committed to Deen and one finds the person to be compatible to one in other aspects, then one should marry such a person.
Before getting married, one should also consult with one's parents as one's parents have more experience in this matter and they will be able to guide him. Similarly, one should make istikhaara in order to seek goodness from Allah Ta'ala in the matter one wishes to embark upon.
The recommended method of performing istikhaarah is to begin with performing two Rakaats Nafl Salaat. Then with all sincerity recite the following Du`aa:
أَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ أَسْتَخِيْرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَ أَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَ أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيْم فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَ لاَ أَقْدِرُ وَ تَعْلَمُ وَ لاَ أَعْلَمُ وَ أَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوْب أَللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِّيْ فِيْ دِيْنِيْ وَ مَعَاشِيْ وَ عَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِيْ فَاقْدِرْهُ لِيْ وَ يَسِّرْهُ لِيْ ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِيْ فِيْه وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِّيْ فِيْ دِيْنِيْ وَ مَعَاشِيْ وَ عَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِيْ فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّيْ وَ اصْرِفْنِيْ عَنْهُ وَ اقْدِرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِيْ بِه
O Allah!! Behold I ask You the good through Your Knowledge, and ability through Your Power, and beg (Your favour) out of Your infinite Bounty. For surely You have Power; I have none. You know all; I know not. You are the Great Knower of all things.
O Allah! If in Your Knowledge this matter be good for my faith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me, and make it easy for me, and bless me therein.
But if in Your Knowledge, this matter be bad for my faith (Deen) for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then turn it away from me, and turn me away therefrom, and ordain for me the good wherever it be, and cause me to be pleased therewith.
While reciting this Du`aa when one reaches هَذَا الْأَمْرَ (THIS MATTER) at both places one should think of the matter. Thereafter sleep on a pure clean place preferably facing the qiblah and in a state of wudhu.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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