taqdeer

Q: I have often heard: "Perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you and hate a thing and it is good for you..."

I am very confused about this. Say, if we used the example of a person that we love and ask Allah for but do not get to be with them because they are bad for us. If we end up with who is good for us will we still not love them as much as we loved the initial person? Will we have to convince ourselves to like them by telling ourselves that this is good for us for reasons we don't know? Being human, won't there be the initial disappointment of not getting who we wanted? They say in time you will come to see in what ways they were better for you but won't you be miserable up until that time by being with someone you didn't love as much?

I've also heard that you get from Allah what you expect from him but then at the same time they say that you should not set your heart on anything or you could be disappointed and that you should acknowledge a possibility of not getting it .

They say that dua can change taqdeer but only if what you make dua for is good for you, but what if your dua is that it should be good for you?

Q: I have a question that confuses me often. I have read in the Islamic books that women is created from the left rib of the men and therefore matches are made before a person comes to this world. This means that each man and woman on earth has a match. Then what about the man who never gets married or women who never gets married when they have their match in the world. And if a person does not get married, what about his/her destined match? Does his match also does not get married? And those who pass away as a bachelor, does his women never gets married, as a person only gets married to those with whom they are destined to be with.

Q: There are many questions in my mind that are revolving and telling me that my Imaan is not complete.

1. Shaytaan is continuously saying to me that it doesn't matter what you do your Imaan is not complete because I am unable to understand the basics of Islam completely. One example is Al-qadar. I believe on everything Allah has revealed on our Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) which includes taqdeer. But believing and understanding are two different things right ? Am I obliged to understand concept of taqdeer ?

2. Second thing that is worrying me is dispute of scholars. Like they have different very different opinions in some matters. One example is that if Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) was light (noor) or bashar (human). Now I am really worried that if I believe one opinion of the scholar and what if the other one was right? I will be in great trouble on the day of judgment? Similar is the case with other issues in which scholars have dispute like some says taking waseela of prophet in dua is right and others say its wrong. Here I am worried as well that what if i accept one opinion and in reality the other was right ? I again will be ashamed on day of judgment ? Likewise, I am really confused that because of these scholars if i adopt a wrong aqeedah I will be punished and doomed on the day of judgment. I know that I should read Qur'an and Hadith to find the right path but again after reading Qur'an I do need to read tafseer to understand and there again different scholars take and interpret aayats in different manners. I am really really scared of Allah and His punishment. All scholars have different opinions and I am totally unable to recognize and choose the right one.

Q: Is destiny defined by Allah or not?

Q: If a Muslim does not believe in taqdeer (destiny), is he or she still a Muslim?