permission

Is the second marriage valid without permission from the first wife?

Q: I have two questions and seeking answers in the light of Islam:

1. I am already married and I did second marriage abroad without the knowledge of my first wife. My mother knew that I will be going for second marriage. I did my second marriage according to shari’a in the presence of wali, two witnesses and guests including my second wifes family, friends and neighbours. My second wife has three children from her previous marriage and her marriage was invalid because her ex was a Christian convert but along the way he became murtid (actually he didn’t become Muslim by heart at all and my second wife knew that) conditions forced her to go for divorce and it was granted by shari’a court. After just a few days after my marriage my first wife found out and I returned to my home country. Naturally there was hue and cry and me being told that my second marriage is invalid because I didn’t take permission then saying its invalid because I cant give equal rights. I would like to clear this that my second wife knew that it would be difficult for me to come often but as for financial rights I can do that regularly. Now my second wife is being burdened by her conscience that she is the cause of hurt and anguish and telling me to leave her. I have been handling the situation here in my home country and now I have to face the pressure from my second wife. One thing is a fact that I will not divorce anyone. I always prayed to Allah that if he blesses me with second marriage then make me able to do justice in the best of my ability. Im telling both of them to relax and let Allah show the way. But they are not letting my brain relax. Is my second marriage valid and how to sooth this situation?

2. My second wife is having dreams which she thinks means that I should divorce her, while I'm telling her that divorce itself is an act with which Allah is not pleased with and these dreams are from shaitan. I would like to quote a few dreams which she told me”

a. In the first dream she saw her, my wife and another girl in bed with me and she was telling the other girl how to serve me.

b. In the second dream she saw me with my first wife and she herself was standing on the edge of an island and we were looking at each other and then she walked away. She thinks these are indications that I should divorce her. I would like to emphasize that my second wife has had a troubled and being ignored history since her teens, even ignored and turned out from home by her father when he remarried after his first wife died. I will not continue with her previous life, just like to mention that it has left scars on her emotionally. Im awaiting guidance.

In-laws entering one's house and taking things

Q: I have been married 6 years and I was living with my in laws as my husband refused to move away, I settled for second best option and that was to build us a place in the yard. Last year we moved into the outbuilding. My husband made a key for his parents because they look after our 5 year old child. His parents and his sister goes in and out of our place and do what they want and take what they want but only when we are in work. Yesterday I had an argument with my husband and they went into our place and took things from the kitchen cupboard and went into the room and went into our cupboards. I told him that I feel they are invading my privacy and taking things without any permission. He then told me that I am ungreatful and selfish and that if I don't like it I am welcome to leave and find myself another place to stay. He gets very angry with me when I mention anything I don't like regarding his family and he will always put me down to defend them. He also told me that I will answer for my selfish ways.

My questions is: Am I wrong to ask his family to respect my privacy and ask permission to go in and take things from our place? And what are the husbands duties towards his wife when it comes to his family?

Secret Nikaahs

Q:

1. Is there a difference in nikaah and marriage?

2. Is it permissible to have a nikaah with someone else even when you are married?

3. Is it compulsory to have permission from wife and children (all well grown up) to have nikaah with someone else (due to total / negative and un acceptable cooperation in life from wife)?