Faskh-e-nikaah
Q: Mera mufti sahib se ye sawal ha ke ager mard kisi bhi sorat talaq nahi deta na he khula pe razi hota ha to orat kya kary?
marital problems
Shaadi me pareshaani
Q: Me kaafi preshan hun. Mri shdi ko du saak hugy hyb aur bht se masly hyn mn abhi Pakistan se bhir hun. Yahn any pr pth chla k mry shoher beer petay hyn mry mna krny pr b nhy sunty. Mri ami ny istekhra kerwaya tu wu bilqul b thk nhy aya khuwab mn kalay sitah mountain dekhy .ab mn pregnant b hun two month se.istekhra thk na any pr mry ghr waky chty hyb k mn abortion kerwa lun aur divorce ly lun q k na ty mry husband ka bhvr thk hy aur na hi inlaws ka du saal mn mjhy her trhn ki parwshani aur tangi dekhni pri ... bare karm btyea ke mn kia krun ab jb kr istekhra b thk nhy aya tu kia abortion aur divorce thk fiasala huga mry lia? Plz mjhy guide krein.
Marital problems
Q: I have been married for almost nine and a half years. I have always contributed to the household taking care of groceries and the other household expenses. My husband never ever gave me an allowance. he has a very extravagant lifestyle and has incurred a lot of debt. He has always taken care of his sister's expenses and spent huge sums of money doing an extravagant wedding for her which partially contributed to his debt. To keep the peace I just continued to make contributions to the house and other expenses. Sometimes cut back on things I needed just to ensure that he got what he wanted. In the past 3 months, he asked if I could assist him with budgeting to help him get out of his debt. I have also helped fund his lavish lifestyle of buying expensive clothes and paying for his fancy cellphone. When I pointed out his faults and where he needs to cut down on. He could not accept that he was wrong and refused to cut back on certain luxury items. In a fit of rage he dumped my clothes at my mums house whilst I was still at work and issued a talaaq 1 on whatsapp an email. I would just like to enquire if iddah is compulsory for me to sit in my mum's home or is it permissible for me to go to work daily. I do feel very alone as my Dad is deceased and my brother is out in 2 months Jamaat in another country at the moment. During this time my husband has gone and discussed the divorce with all my uncles and so he says with the Jamiat as well. Even though the Jamiat did not here my side of the story. his dad is away on Umrah. I sent a message to both his dad and sister telling them that he wants to end our marriage because his in financial distress and yet they are the ones that have put him there. Neither of them even bothered to respond or show me any support and yet I am the one that allowed them to have a good life whilst I had to go out and work and take care of myself. Most of my uncles do show me a lot of support, however I am one who tends to bottle up my feelings and just take the pain and do not express what is really going on inside my heart. Your guidance will really be appreciated.
Marital problems
Q: I am my husbands second wife and married to him since three years. His first wife fights with him now and then as he married me. She threatens him that she will leave his house and take away his children with her. She curses him to die and has scratched his body while fighting . Then after few days tries to be normal as if nothing happened and my husband also forgave her for her bad deeds many times but now the relations have worsened and he wants to divorce her but she doesn't want divorce because she thinks that her husband will become free and will live happily with me. They are not having any any physical relations since a long time. Is my husband at fault for not keeping physical intimacy with her? He is taking care of his family otherwise and doing his duties honestly. Kindly let me know what should he do?
Marital problems
Q: I have a big issue in my life, my wife has left me. Its been over a year and half and every time to time she comes back says she wants so reconcile but on her terms and when I don't agree she says forget it. All the issues started a year and a half when her mother started to interfere and she started to listen to her mother over me. Her mother feels that a woman should be independent and work were she feels and do as she feels and I did not agree with this so my wife's mother told her to leave me and she went. I have also seen my wife with another man who she said is just her work colleuge and she was walking with him to the train station I have told her this is wrong and haraam but she feels it is not. My wifes friends have advised her that she should leave me and ask for a divorce also my wife has asked her friends to find her a husband even though we are still married my wife has completely turned against me of course its not all her fault there are times when my wife has been disobedient to me and I have shouted and swore to which I have apologised. I am very heart broken. My wife has said and done things that make me feel that maybe she has been un-faithful. I love her very much. We also share a child. She has not let me see my son for the last 9 months. I don't want to divorce her but she has no care for me. I have tried so many times to reconcile but if she does not get her way, then she says its over I don't no what else to do but I cant seem to get over her and still love her after she has hurt me so much and all she does is blame me and make me feel bad. Her mother and friends have turned her completely against me. I have done so much for her financially. She left me in a very bad position as well. I can't seem to forget her and my son. I really want to be with her but she does not care even though we are still married, she is doing whatever she likes. She is working in an environment with a lot of male workers and she finishes work late but she says its my fault because I am not around but I am around but she does not care. She keeps making excuses and blaming me to justify what she is doing. I don't no what else to do. I am very depressed that i loved her so much gave her everything and she has just left me even till today I do not know what I did so bad that she just left and doesn't let me see my son and she says I never done anything good for her. I use to do everything for her. I used to go and buy everything for her but I never complained as I was happy with her but now she says so many bad things about me like I never did any good. A year ago her father asked me to go to try to resolve things but her mother said my wife does not need to listen to everything I say, thats not how it works and I said but we will keep arguing if she doesn't listen and her mother responded by saying well then it wont work. I need help on how to deal with this. I feel as I am going through severe pain and heartache and am not able to deal with this trauma. I don't understand how someone can just stop loving me so easily. I feel she was with me when it was good but when things was going bad she left. I feel her love had conditions if I did as she wanted then shes with me but I loved her unconditionally. I am very lost and need help. Everyday is becoming harder and harder. Please help me.
Marital problems
Q:
1. If the wife asks the husband can you please help me to pick up the cupboard and he doesn't want to move that cupboard, he is lazy to do something then the wife moves the cupboard herself, then the wife got angry with the husband and said "You just watching, what kind of husband are you?" Was it right what she did to her husband?
2. My friend got married with two kids now her husband wants to marry to another girl but he didn't divorce her Islamically. He sent her court divorce papers. He said to her I am not going to divorce you islamically. They haven't been having physical relation since 10 months. So I want to ask you that their relationship is finished or still exists till he divorces her?
3. If the husband says something which the wife already knows she has to do (something at home) then he keep on saying which annoys the wife. Is it the wife's right to say yes I know what to do? If the husband doesn't help the wife to buy something is he still getting sin and he tells the wife, whatever you earn, buy for yourself and help me because I pay bills mortgage insurance. What should the wife do? Even she helps little bit and buys clothes with her own money?
4. If husband shouts the wife when she she tells him to perform namaz, what should the wife do?
5. If the husband wants to celebrate the kid's birthday just buying a cake and wife doesn't want to celebrate. They argue with each other. What can the wife do if she is religious?
6. If the husband keeps on saying nonsense which is not true to the wife and she gets angry. In that situation what should the wife do to answer back?
Baabi ki wajah se pareshaani
Q: Mera masla zara gaur se padhe aur shariyat ka ky huqum hai iss mamleme hame rahenuma kare Baat darasal ye hai ke mere bhai ki shaddi 10 mahine pahle hui aur wo job ke silsel se bhar hi rahte lakin bhabhi jab bhi ghar bulati wo sab kam bajume rakh kar leave le ke ghar aajate aur mahine me one week bhabhi ke sath hi rahte ...aur bhabhi se be-inteha mohabbat karte hai aur jaha tak bhabhi ka sawal hai unhe to khana bhi barabar banana nhi ata ...shaadi ke wqt bole ke sab kuch ata hai fir bhi yaha hum logo ne khana pakana sikhye ...wo apne shoahr ki farma bardari nahi karti ...das baar koi baat bolne per ek baar sunti ... bhai ne bole hui kam nahi karti ...yaha tak ki namaz nahi padti ...quran nhai padti ...parda nahi karti ...ye sab bhai ne force kar ke karwate .... aur bar bar maiyke chali jati ..bhai ke mana karne ke bad bhi ..kai bar to bhai hote hui maiyke chali gaye ..bhai ne use samjaya aise mat kiya karo alkin koi fiyda nahi ..fir mere wailden ne samjaya kuch din acche rahti bad me jaise ke waise ...phir bhi ne unki sas ke samne ye bat rahki ..kuch din ke bad fir waise hi chalu ...fir bhai ne sasur ke same ye bat ki ...to kuch din ke bad fir waise hi ...baar bar ghar chod ke jane ke dhamki deti bhai ko ...koi kam me dil nahi lagata tha bhabhi ka aur bhai ne jab biwi ke huqooq ke bayan sunaye to bhai ko kahti tumare paas sab byana hai kya kio songs aur movies nahi hai kya.. Bayan sunane ke bad bhi koi frak nahi pada kuch din sab karti bad me wahi apni akad dekhati ...aur to aur bhai ne ekdam sede aur sunnat takrike se shaadi ki ...aur bhabhi se kaha tha tumari jo bhi zarurte hai sahaddi ke bad wo sab bhai poori karenge aur ek shohar hone ka haqq mere bhai ne bahot acchese nibhaya ...kisebhi bhabhi ke rishtedar se poocho to wo yahi kahte ki tumri beti ke kismat bahot acche hai uske shohar uski har ek zarurat ka bahot khyal rakhta hai ... Aur us ke bad bhabhi ne ek din ye bataya ke Shaddi se phele wo apne chachre bhai ke sath pyar karti thi aur 4 se 5 sal us ke sath zina bhi kiya aur to aur uske chachare bhai ne uski sab gandi taswere lake useka bahot jismani fiyda uthya ...aur uske dostone ne bhi .. aur usne uske sath shaddi bhi nahi ke aur bas har baar uska nazayaz faiyda uthta tha ... itna sab hone ke bad usne bahi se mafi magi ...bhai ne maaf kardiya aur uski zindagi kharab nahi honna bolke use sath hi rakaha. kuch nahi kiya ...aab ye bat ke wo taswere us ke chachere bhai se kaise nikale aur aage jake koi pareshni na ho bolke ...unhone apne saas aur sasre ko ghar per bulaye .. aur baar bar bhabhi bhi kahti ke wo taswere us se hasil karna hai ye sab soch ke bhai ne bhabhi ke walidain ko bat karne bulaye...aur ye baat sir bhabhi ne bhai ko batye ...bhabhi ke wailden ko iske bare me kuch nahi malum tha ...kam as kam bhabhi ne shaddi se phale ye baat apne waliden ko batana tha na ...unhone aisa kiya nahi . bhai ke saas aur sasre akle nahi aye wo apne poore logo ko leke aye 10 se 15 jents aur 5 se 7 ladies ...aur bhai par tohmat lagaye ke bhai ne apne hi biwi ko force kiya ke aise bol bolke .. aur jab bhabhi se sab ne pooch sach kya hai to bhabhi kaha mere shohar ne muje force kare ye sab bolne ke liya to maine bola ...aur bhai ke uper najne kya kya ilzam lagaye ye muj per shaak karte ....aur bhahes bahot badh gayi ...aur humare pass hum ne kise ko bhi nahi bulaye bhai aur pitaji dono hi ...bhabhi sab logo ke samne mukar gaye aur apne hi shohar ko ke upar tohmat lagne lagi aur boli ke mai aise nahi hu maine aisa kuch bhi nahi kiya ye sab zoot hai ...mai igusse me thi isswaje se boldiya... aur uske bad wo log zabardasti bhabhi ko sath leke chale gaye ...hala ke bhai ne ijzat nahi di thi bhabhi ko jane ke ...bhai ke sasur bole meri beti ko mere sath bhjo nahi to mai yahi khudkhushi kardunag to hum log sab khamosh ho gaye aur wo bhabhi ko le ke chale gaye ... Bhaibhi ne mere waliden ke sugar blood pressure badha diya ....sab ko tension de kar wo chai gaye ..... uske bad bhi bhai ne apne sasur ko call kiya ...bhabhi ke uncle ko call kiya lakin wo log call nahi uthare ...phir mere khala ke ladkene bhabhi ke chacha ko jakar baat akri ..unhone bataya wo logo ki tabiyat kharab hai bad me baat karenge ...fir mere walid ne un logo ko call kiya wo log koi bhi jawab nahi de rahe hai .... aaj ek mahine se ziyada ho gaya hai wo logo ne call bhi nahi kiya aur hamara call bhi nahi uthya ...jo kuch baaat hui thi wo bhabhi ke maum aur uncle se hui thi aur wo bole ke ..ladaka hamri bacchi ko torcher karta hai ...aur sata hai ..aur sahakh karta hai ... aur yahi baat unhone mere walid se bhi kahi jab mere walid ne unhe call kiya tab. Mera bhai to panjwaqta namzi hai ..shaddi ke bad bhabhi ko to bahar gumane bhi le gaye aur to aur bhabhi jo cheej ko dehkh le bhai use kharid lete bhabhi ke liye ... agar koi aake bedroom dekhenga to samaj jayenga ke kya kya nahikharida bhai ne bhabhi ke liea har ek pasand bhaibhi ke kharidlate. aur ek baat bhabhi bhai ke samne ek bat karti aur unke aur mere waidain ke same alag bat karti ...jo bhai ke same qubool karti wo sab ke samne nahi karti .. aur bhabhi bahi ko to bahot satati bhi thi lakin bhai ne kise ko nahi bataya ...aur na mere waliden bhabhi ko kise baat ke liea kuch bolte na fir unhe satate. aab aise sitwation me hume kya karna chaiye ...shariyat kya huquum deti hai ..humari rahnumai kare ... Aap apna zawab zara tafsil se de taki sab kuch samajne me asani ho.
Nikaah me pareshaani
Q: Mujhe aapse advise chahiye ke mera apny husband se khula lena behter hai ya osky ravaye me tabdili ka intezaar karon. Mery husband ne mujhse dosri shaadi apni or meri razamandi k sath ki or shaadi k baad mery sath sirf 12 din rahy. Phir wo UK chaly gaye jahan unki second wife or bacchy rehty hain. Allah ne unhain buhat dowlat or ezzat de rakhi hai, lekin phir bhi wo mujhe naan nafqa nahi dety, mery rehny ka kahin intezaam nahi kia. Jabky shaadi se pehly unhon ne mujhse or mery parents se yahi kaha tha ke wo mujhe apne sath rakhain gy. Ab na apny pas bulaty hai na Pakistan me khud apni koi rehayeash mujhe di. main shaadi k baad se apny waldeen k ghar me pardi hon. shaadi se phely jab unhon ne sirf meri tasweer dekh ker haan ker di thi. osky baad wo meri her zarorat ka khayal rakhty thy. lekin shaadi k baad mujhse hamesha jaan churdane ki koshish kerty hain,jab maine unse naan nafqa or apne rehny ki jaga ki baat ki tab se wo ye kehty hain main unhain pasand nahi hon, meri or unki family status ka koi match nahi hai etc. or ab tu had ye k last 10 months se na koi call na msg. whatsapp per akser online hoty hain lekin meri kisi baat ka reply nahi kerty. mufti sahab meri shaadi 40 saal ki age me bardi mushkil se hoi, ghurbat ki waja se parents jahaiz nahi dy sakty thy.es liye khobsorat hone k bawajood rishty waly haan nahi kerty thy. mery husband married thy. unhain shaadi se pehly es baat per koi aitraaz nahi tha k main ghareeb family se hon, lekin ab unhain main or meri family bori lagti hai. ab tu family ka her shakhs kehta hai k mujhe khula le leni chahiye. Lekin main hamesha ye soch ker ruk jati hon k her insaan k dil me Allah rehta hai k shayed unhain mera khayal ajaye k wo aisa ker k mery sath na-insaafi ker rahy hain, or phir meri life me sab theek ho jaye. mery husband mujhse 12 saal bardy hai. es waqt unki age 52 saal hain. shaadi k baad unhon ne jitni baar mujhse mubasrat ki osme bhi mujhe unka koi interest nahi nazar aya k wo mujhse satisfy kerny me koi dilchaspi rakhty hon. Ab main Married hone k bawajood bhi unmarried life guzarne per majboor hon. Mufti sahab plz mujhe advise dijiye k main kaya karon. kia khula lena hi mery masly ka hal hai, jabky meri or mery parents ki ghurbat or low status ab bhi apni jaga hai.
Jaado ka ilzaam
Q: Mery susral walo ny mojh pr or meri ammi pr ilzam lgay h ky hm in logo pr jado or sifli krty hn or pery hasband ko kaha h ky talak do me ny allima ka cours ky h me ny boht kaha h ky me ny koch ni ky h magr wo log khty hn ky kesi baba ni meri or meri ammi ki shakl dekhi he. Please meri help kry meri shadi ko 16 sal ho gy hn or mery 2 bachy hn.
Husband intending to back to Christianity
Q: I need advise regarding my husband who has converted into Islam for 5 years and now he says he wants to go back to Christianity because Islam is too difficult for him. We have a wonderful relationship for the 7 years we are together and I don't want to lose it. What can I do or any advice?