dating

Dating and arranged marriage

Q: I read somewhere that when a couple date before marriage, the sins of dating could sabotage the happiness in the marriage and when things are done the halaal way then there’s less likelihood of problems arising. But, if anything should go wrong even when done the halaal way, then at least they would know that it was a test from Allah and that the sins of dating did not contribute to it since they would not have done so. Therefore, if they did everything in the halaal way, they wouldn’t have any regrets thinking they should have done things differently.

Getting married as soon as a suitable match is found

Q: I know a girl for 7 years. In the last 6 months we started developing feelings for each other and dated a few times but nothing physical. We have decided to stop dating so that it does not damage our future together. We plan on getting married in 3 years time. Is it permissable to read istikaarah salaah now even though we plan on getting married later and what is your advice for this period of time?

Do people who date get married faster?

Q: A lot of people say that when a girl decides not to date boys and rather to wait until a boy comes and proposes for her in the right way, then often she will end up waiting very very long until she is married. And that the women who don't wait and go out and find their own will be married off quicker. I have heard of cases like this and it is very demotivating. Is this some sort of proven or authentic fact? What basis do people have to say this?

Dating

Q: I have a problem and it's hard. I really can not handle this feeling anymore. I really try to focus on salaat and dikr. But it is not enough. I have no one to talk to besides Allah Ta'ala. I want to get married and I even tried muslim dating sites. After some emails I met someone he told me that he wants to come home. I told my mother after couple days. He said I could never be his wife but he liked me and he wanted to date me more. I didn't do anything with him so I got scared and broke the contact with him. It was the little hope I had that was destroyed and I feel angry and sad and stupid. My father is in bad health he can't search for me and my brothers also can't because they dont have the time. So I am forced (thats what i feel) to date men only with the intention to get married. But they want other things and I can't do that. Am I weird not wanting sex. They call me old fashioned And they say they dont trust me because I am almost 31. I just can't take this anymore. I don't have someone I can ask for advise. Please give me yours. I don't want anything just some advice because I don't know why I am here and why I feel so much pain. It really kills me inside. I want to end this. I know these days are hard to do things in a halaal way but when halaal is really hard I am afraid I will do haraam.

Premarital relationship

Q: I want to ask a question about dating in Islam. I am dating a guy whom I love so dearly,we both want to get married in the future but there is a deep urge within me to be just a pious Muslim and stop all the bad things I am doing. So what I really want to know is if he and I repent to Allah and try to get engaged in the Islamic way, will Allah forgive us and accept our marriage as a lawful one in Islam. We both are pursuing our bachelor's degree and we want to wait until after that. I have been seeking answers for the past few weeks but a friend told me that the likelihood of Allah forgiving you of a sin you know is bad and still do is 0.1. So I am confused, I really need help.