advice

Q: 

1. If the ustad asks the student did you do مطالعة on weekend is this classed as تجسس?

2. If the shaykh asks the mureed do u do the tasbeehat is this تجسس?

3. If a teacher asks a student did u do لغو is this classed as تجسس?

Q: I am suffering from waswasa for a long time. In Islam every thing is about intention, but I am not sure about my intention. So is it a major sin if I have an intention to do a major sin if I had a chance to do? If a person thinks that he is ready to commit a major sin if he had chance to and then asked forgiveness but he didn't do it, is the same sin recorded by thinking about sinning or not?

Q: My mother and other people of my family and village forced me to marry a girl who is not of my choice. I like some one else. I am confused what shall I do. The girl I liked is ready to marry me with my new forceful wife in my life.

1. I want to ask that shall I go ahead and marry the girl of my choice?

2. I dont like my present forceful wife. Shall I divorce her or keep her?

3. The girl I like says she is ready to marry me with this condition but she thinks she will do a crime by this as she has a feeling that my relation with my forceful wife will be affected. I dont like my forceful wife and I dont have any relation with her.  Is the girl I like is right?

Q: Is it wrong to be angry at my husband? It has been nearly two years of marriage. We have a 9month old daughter. I'm 24 and he's 36.Whenever a problem arises between us, I'm always the one to ask for forgiveness just so we can move on. I heard it is not advisable to sleep over such problems because it escalates so I try to talk to him before going to bed. What hurts is that whenever I go to beg him, he doesn't pay attention.  He's either on his phone or facing the opposite direction. When I was pregnant,  due to so much stress, I would become moody at times but it didn't mean that I would disrespect him, a particular night I was cooking and I became moody so he came back from work.the way i acted wasn't the normal way so he got angry . I then realized I had to beg him and so I went to him knelt down and asked for forgiveness but he didn't even acknowledge me. I was in that position for long because I wanted him to say it's ok, but he never did to the extent my food grew cold.then he looked at me and said I should stop behaving like a manafik...hypocrite. wallahi, it felt like I was stabbed deep in my heart. .I cried in the kitchen.the next day I went to talk to him and I couldn't control the tears...I really didn't want to cry but then my husband started imitating the my face as I cried. Then, it dawned on me that it wòuld be of no use. So I made up my mind never to cry in his presence again. This happened last year.  Now we have another misunderstanding and he's mostly at fault . I had pains on my legs and send and he told me to carry out child and i said pls just leave her there he got angry and yelled at me if I was high on something.  I said what do I mean high on something. And that was it. It's been two days and we haven't really spoken to each other. I cook, clean and do everthing as usual except eat and joke with him. I'm really angry with him beacause I went to talk to him so we could move on that same night but I literally had to beg him to even listen , he had his back to me the whole time.  It felt like I was talking to a wall or myself. i said pls turn and face me so we could really communicate,  He said is it not ears  He uses to HEAR? I then talked to him and how I felt and I wanted him to say something but as usual I was ignored so I got upset left to the living room.  My baby started crying; he just took her and dumped her where I was and went back to sleep. I'm just tired of his behaviour,  I believe I deserve a better treatment.  So I decided I won't talk to him until he is ready to apologise. He always says im a small girl, he treats me like I'm dumb and foolish just because I'm patient, hardly allows me to see my relatives except his own, holds my credit card,yells at me, says I should never complain of tiredness.He's never helped me with our baby at night only during the day,wen she cried he hisses and sends me to another ròom, so when I complain of tiredness,  He said from today don't ever say you are tired. Is it because I'm too quiet? I know he has rights over me but I do too and I deseve better. How do I get him to even listen to me? I need a shoulder to cry on at times, am I asking for too much? He complains that I don't know How to beautify my self but wenever I take my time to do so he never compliments me, I yearn for things like that but I never get it.He said I can't get everything. He has his good sides but I feel this is important because it's really weighing on me and may cause me to start treating him differently. How do I change him? Please advise me.

Q: I am lecturer in physics at a govt college. In 2007 I got married and yet I remained unable to have intercourse. I have a problem of erection and discharging early. At the first night my wife was not willing to have intercourse then on her will I did not have intercourse. For many days we do oral and upper sex with each other but my wife was not willing to do intercourse and I also left it. But after 3 months we tried for intercourse but my wife got frightened and I also did not get a full erection to insert inside and discharge before inserting. This thing is going on for the next 5 months and I remained unable to do intercourse. Then I decided to take medicine and have different treatments but got no success and remained unable to insert and to get full erection and discharge early. I asked my wife to take a divorce from me as I am not able to fulfill her sex requirements but she said that she want to live with me and have treatment done. I make many attempts to do intercourse but remained unable and also take different medicines. Before marriage I never know that I have that problem otherwise I will never get marriage. Now I am in deep depression as I feel that I destroyed the life of my wife and I am committing the sin and she is not willing to take divorce but she got frustrated when I remained unable to do intercourse. Now 10 years are passed and if she now takes divorce where she will go?

Kindly help me and tell me that is my nikkah or marriage is valid?

Secondly what is the ruling of Islam for couple like us, what we should do? We are in deep trouble and depressed. My wife want to live with me and want to do intercourse with me and she has emotional attachment with me. Is it possible that I can be able to do intercourse and be able to satisfy me wife? I am in deep trouble, kindly help me to overcome this problem. 

Q: I am very concerned about my marriage and I need help. I have been married for 5 months now and my husband has not consummated our marriage. Although, he is intimate in other ways and treats me well. I am very disturbed and embarassed to talk to him about the issue. I wanted to know how should I deal with it.

Q: I'm 27 years old.  I had two abortions under some circumstances which were absolutely sin and I keep asking forgiveness from Allah for it. Now, I'm married and have one baby girl of 3 years old and we want to have another baby but it's not happening anymore. I am starting to get into depression as I'm scared that this is the punishment from Allah.

I have come to a conclusion that everybody has a number of kids allotted from Allah but since I have aborted two babies and I got one so now I may not have any baby in my life anymore, is this thought correct?  But honestly when I had this baby girl the only thing I thought is that may be Allah forgave me that's why he blessed us with his most precious gift - a girl. 

Is there any kaffarra for these sins and that Allah bless me with more kids?

Q: I'm in urgent need of something. Is there any kind of amal or dua so that Allah grants my wish/hazaat?

Q: I am a 17 year old boy from Brisbane, Australia but orginaly from Pakistan and I was wondering if an Imam can advise me on a problem I am currently seeing happen with my own eyes. 

There is a 16 year old muslim girl whom I know very well, you can call me her best friend pretty much. She is from India and like me, she is also in her last year of school in Australia and university will start next year. Me and her have been friends since last year and were hoping that in 3 to 4 years Insha-Allah we will tell our parents about each other and arrange a marriage for us Insha-Allah. Unfortunately her parents are very abusive and strict parents, I have heard from her about the many different cases of them beating her up everyday for little things like forgetting to wash the laundry. Wallah I am not lying this is all true. A few weeks ago her mum was beating her up and said the following words to her "you are my daughter and I can do whatever I want to you and you can do nothing but obey me because I own you." I was absolutely shocked when I heard this. Wallahi all of this is true she has been constantly getting abused by her mum and dad since she was a little girl and her older brother seems to join in when he wants to. 

Recently, her parents told her that they want to get her engaged at the end of the year and she doesn't want this to happen. They have been forcing her to accept whatever they say and live with whoever they want and they made some cultural comments like no one else will be allowed to marry her except an Indian boy, no arab no pakistani no one except an Indian. She told me that she doesn't want this to happen and has been crying and feeling depressed from many days now. My question is, what is Islam's view on forced marriage and what can this girl do to avoid what her parents are doing because they have been abusing and forcing her to do as they say and she does not wish to get engaged to anyone by force and only wants to engage someone who she will accept with her heart but she feels like whoever her parents show her, she will only accept because of fear out of what they will do if she says no due to their abusive nature and not because she actually accepts the boy. 

If possible, can you please advise me on what this girl should do and how she can seek help? What does Islam say about a scenario like this and what can this girl do to avoid forced marriage? I am looking forward to the Imam's advice Insha-Allah it will be greatly appreciated.