Marital Issues

Q: My husband gets mad at me for being upset and wanting to end the marriage due to his porn addiction. He is from Pakistan and I am from Canada. He says that once he comes to Canada, he will go to strip clubs to "see" what they do because he is curious. There is no need. He even watches porn for no reason. He doesn't even have a "need" and I never refuse him for this purpose that he might go there. He tells me that there are more better women than me and they will be in jannah and I will be in hell. I told my mother and since then he is saying I am backbiting. I have mental health depression and seizures which come from stress. He always bullies me and puts me down. He tells me to stop this guy and that guy. I tell him that I will only stop you because you are my husband, and he says I am a terrible person.

Please advise me. Am I wrong for wanting my husband to stop childish acts (this is one of many) and stop this sin - especially when he has no NEED for it? I can understand when I am on my periods or when I am far away. But I have been visiting for 1 year and he does it still for fun, his excuse being... Allah created man like this - so its ok and its my nature. Please help me understand what I am doing wrong. I know it's haraam but I feel very suicidal.

Q: I want to know if a woman should be doing all the payments for a man while he sends all his money to his family. I know women must assist but not pay for everything while the husband is saving his money for his family. My husband is religious; he reads namaaz 5 x a day. I love him very much. Because I don't have children he takes me for granted to be a slave and support him. Please tell me how how should I approach him without us having a problem. He always tells me that Allah subhanallah is happy with him and no matter how much wrong he do does, his 5 x a day namaaz will get his sins washed away. I don't want to break my marriage.

Q: I am from Pakistan. I got married in 2017, it was arranged marriage. My parents and my wife's mother and brother did all the meetings and we also met eachother to know about eachother. After marriage my wife got pregnant in the first month and then my family and I got to know that my wife has high blood pressure (clinicaly diagnosed IgA nephropathy in 2015) and she takes daily medicine.

The first 3 months was very hard for her that she could not take medicine because that will affect the child and instead, the doctor advised to take different medicines. After 3 months she traveled to Dubai where her parents are living but on the 6th month our child died inside her due to high blood pressure.

After that I got problems in my family:

1. My parents and sisters ask me and my wife why wife's family didn't told them about this disease?

2. My parents told them that I have asthma before marriage and they do fraud with us by not telling about my wife's disease.

3. My sister told me that my wife's disease will pass through our children and they will never get normal life.

I asked my wife and she told me that this disease is very passive or mild and it never bothered her before so that's why she and her family didn't think about telling me or my family. My parents didn't talked to my wife's parents about this.

We consulted many doctors and they told us that we can have children in future but it will be complicated due to changes in medicine, etc.

My mother is now insisting that I do second marriage and divorce my wife. My mother believes that now we cannot have any children and life cannot be lived without children. My mother told me that she got me married so that she can see my children.

Me and my wife recently moved to Norway because I got a job here. I am happy with my wife and we are living happily. I dont want to marry anyone or divorce her. Now my family belives that my wife and her family helped me to get away from my parents.

I am really confused. What should I do and how to do what is right. I want to make everything normal back again. Please guide me in the light of Islam.

Q: I would like to know the ruling on my husband sitting and talking, discussing random topics with non-mahram women. According to him, he has no bad intentions. We married for 30 years.

Q: I am married. I am not in love with my husband. I dont wish to be with him anymore. I dont want to hurt him but I want to leave him. He has noticed changes in my behaviour and I did mention that I dont want to be with him. He threatens me and I feel forced to be with him. What is the easiest way forward for me?

Q: My husband is falsely accusing me of being faithful. I am heart broken and dont know how to deal with the situation.

Q: We, a childless couple have been married for 18 years and got several times abortions during the first trimester. Following all possible modern treatment, due to this bad obstetric history and unknown cause medically in either spouse, doctors advised for adoption. But my husband repeatedly used to tell me for a couple of years: I wish you to live an independent life, go to another city and search for a new job.

In this tough circumstance, how should I manage? Can I leave my husband's home under which Sharia law? Can I take a decision to separate from him, if yes, tell me the procedure because he is much reluctant from my side and wants second marriage. 

Q: I have recently come from hajj with my wife. I am still in Madinah. On my way to Makkah, on the same flight was a girl I wanted to marry previously. There was an attachment previously but her mother said no. It was such a test to see her and I constantly questioned myself why Allah wanted me to see her just before hajj. Through the days of hajj Alhamdulillah I managed to suppress the feelings. Last few days all the feelings I had previously for her are resurfacing, and I have a loving wife who seems to notice that I have been a bit sad lately. I don't know what to do in this situation. My desires are to be able to see her face one last time. But I know it is wrong. How do I approach this. How do I get over this? 

Q: My wife cheated on me twice. The first time I caught her was when my son was 1 year old and second time I caught her my son was 4 years old. She likes my sisters husband. What should I do?

Q: I found explicit chats on my husband's phone, him having an affair with a woman, the chats consisted of 'are we meeting tonight" "thanks for last night" she would say things like "please pay my accounts for me" he would say "send me the details" etc, she sent him pictures of her private parts there was no shame in that, I found out and I exposed him, however I want a talaaq and now the community moulana is saying that I need three witnesses in order to say he was cheating. I have all the chats. They were not discreet in any way, how do I go about this?