Marital Issues

Q: My husband has abandoned me in sleeping with him. He doesn't eat what I cook for him. Talks without looking at me. He is still in a state where he hasn't decided to separate with me or live with me and our kids. What time is this allowed? He doesn't give me a reason for doing this. I am in depression wanting him to be normal. He doesn't give me a time frame for when he will decide. I read online that men can decide not to sleep with wife if she is arrogant. It should not exceed upto one month. Otherwise what should I do if it does.

Q: I have been married for four months. My husband earns a decent salalry and is loving. However the problem arises when my husband leaves me with my in laws and then goes to his office. During the day I'm expected to serve my in laws, which obviously they dont acknowledge. On his return from the office, which is around late 11'o clock, he takes me back to his rented apartment and there he helps me with the daily chores. Needless to mention we do discuss my day which ends up in an argument. On his week off, my husband is supposed to stay with my in laws and he cannot sit or talk to me because that sounds indisciplined to my father in law. If he spends time with me on weekends, I have to face cold vibes from my in laws. I spoke to my husband that its better for our relationship that I stay at our rented apartmnent. Still everyday he drops me off at my in laws. Besides this I asked my mother in law to pay us a little more than 250 rupees daily a month so that we can save and buy our own apartment. She created a fuss that I want all of my husbands salary and I'm being selfish. My husbands salary goes entirely to his parents and he is given 250 rupees daily by his parents. When I tried to clear the misunderstanding that I only asked for dividing his income in two equal parts, they said that I was selfish and a home eater. Also my husband has to seek permision from my father in law whether he can take me out or not. All that makes me feel hatred towards my husband as he cant stand an speak up for me. I want to know if I am wrong if I seek my husbands time and half his earnings? Am I wrong in saying that I dont want my father in law to decide for us? Should I be patient or ask them for my rights?

Q: Im a 40 year old male, married to the same woman now twice, 3 kids. Nothing has changed since our first marriage and I dont seem like anything will. My wife is unaffectionate, loving, no motherly time, no husband time, only about her business and her issues in her life. Im tired, everyday I wonder should I leave, if I do I will die without my kids. I cannot even think of waking up and not having them there. Life must have a solution, speaking to her does not change anything. Every day that goes by Im slowly dieing inside. What do I do?

Q: My son married a girl of his choice. She is short tempered and does not take care of his clothes and food. She pushed him twice to give talaaq. He does not want to do anything against Deen. He thinks he is stuck with her for the rest of his life. She demanded to live separately so he got her a house. But they still fight a lot. He is very unhappy. What does the Deen say in this regard? Can he separate her?

Q: Nowadays I am quite worried. Please tell me what steps should I take to make my life normal.

I live in pakistan, where when you get married, people think that now you are their servant. I have graduated in software engineering but my husband dont allow me to work. I understand he is my husband and he can give me orders. But my problem is that his parents also think that they are my responsibility. His mother's attitude is not good with me from the time I got married. His mother says that there is nothing appreciatable or good in me, I am ugly and dont do any thing good. Although my relatives say thay I am good looking. I am telling you this so that you can understand that she hurts me and insults me and expects that I have to serve her. Last time my mother in law said that if I cannot do what she says then I have to stay in my parents home just because I made bread dough with my own recipe not like what she said. Along with other household chores she wants me to even iron her and her husband cloths. Although I have the responsibility of my husband and a daughter. My main issue is their behaviour and their insults. Now I am at my parents home and I refuse to go back to my in laws home. I have asked my husband that I will only go back if he will take me and his mother to some mufti so that the mufti could tell that his parents that they are not my responsibility. Maybe in this way their attitude will change. But my husband refused so now I'm in my parents home. Do you think what I have done is right? Please tell me what I should do? Because I have lost all my self respect for my husband and in laws . Still they are not happy. They have made me hate myself. Please tell me if my husband can force me to serve his parents?

Q: I have seen many women complain on social platforms that their husbands watch porn and I've seen people comment that they should divorce or try and help them with it. What exactly would be the Islamic way of dealing with it? Should she advise him against it, then if he carries on, leave him to go to her parents house for a while and inform him that she would be willing to fulfill his rights at any part of the day in any way permissible in Islam as long as it does not break the rules of Islam and then if he agrees and asks her to come back home should she go back and only divorce if he repeatedly does it again?

Q: If my husband and sister in law had a najaiz relationship when we were downstairs and he was sleeping. (Maybe) She came in the room and stayed for fifteen minutes when we were in England. What can I do so that she stays away from him and he doesn't look at her because she is making him with magic. What can I read that no one can came between us?

Q: I would like your advice, other than interpretation of dreams, regarding my first wife. It is understandable the shock she had about hearing about my second marriage, but at that point I did not deny it and I accepted it and told her the circumstances and reasons for taking this step. Now she is in constant denial and acceptance. For a while she relaxes and then starts again, suffering herself and making me suffer too. I would like to say that my second wife is in Indonesia. And I have told my first wife many times, that look at the big picture, I am here, with you alive and well, but she sometimes gets relieved, but after a short while, she starts again. It is affecting me very hugely, because I am in a high pressure job. First wife also had gynecological problems. I am taking her for medical help, but that will only work if she believes in herself . I need your advice.

Q: My husband keeps accusing me of looking at other men and not to cause him shame in the community. He doesn't like me going out and doesn't trust me even though I wear full jilbaab and niqaab. I also have some knowledge of the Deen. We've been married for 22 years and have 7 children. He has always been jealous but it got worse in the last 3 years. I'm not interested in other men and when I tell him he doesn't believe me.

Q: My husband, 36, has been having an affair with my niece, 20, for the past few years. Everytime I confronted him he denied it and twists it around like I'm crazy and insecure. However yesterday I caught them redhanded in each others arms kissing, etc. What is the position of my nikah with him? We have 2 sons aged 16 & 14 and a daughter 11. My concern is custody of my children, should I choose to divorce. Please advice me of the way forward.