concealing the faults of people

Concealing the faults of one's wife

Q: I got married 3 months ago and got to know that my wife got raped when she was 13 and got harrased by her cousins once too. Now I started feeling bad and have a sense of hate for her. What should I do? I love her more than anything. I feel that I should do the same what she did so I could balance out the feelings on both sides.

Judging people

Q: Over the years I have always heard the advice from pious elders that one should not judge people on their actions or otherwise. However whenever my sisters and I have a discussion about current issues in the community and tell them not to judge people they argue that the wrong is apparent so it is not wrong. Is it correct not to judge the person only their action but think the best of each person? Please help me understand. My sisters insist that my thinking is the same as will be of the people at the time of dajjal. This worries me greatly.

Concealing the faults of others

Q: I have been stressing myself out on my wife's past. I am about to get married next month and I have been engaged with my fiance for 8 months. I have never asked about her past and I know she had a relationship with a guy for 3 years until I came. I knew this from the beginning. I love her so much she is my first love and love of my life. I have been in love with her for 7 years. She was in my school. Just recently when I asked her that if she has ever done anything related to sex with her boyfriend she said no and swear ALLAH (Ta'ala) but when I talked to her about other girls why do they do or cross prescribed boundary of Islam with their boyfriends without even knowing that if they really going to get together and be married couple in future, she started to act weird and confused. So I finally asked her again that if she has ever done anything with him and this time I asked her to swear her on her deceased mother and she finally confronted that she has kissed him four times or more but nothing happened after or passed that limit. I asked her again if she is telling me the truth and only you have done kissing with him nothing more intimate, she said I swear I was worried that we are going to get married after a month and I hid it because it would harm our marriage. So my question is should I trust her and keep her and take her words? Because she lied to me with the oath of Allah Ta'ala. I know her that she is not lying that she hasn't done anything other than kissing but my male ego is bothering me. I try to forgive her but after some hours I get mad and emotional again. I am really confused that should I trust what she is saying or not. Should I keep her or not. Please help me with this.

Covering the faults of others

Q: I did nikah with a woman few days before. The very next day from someone outside I find out that my wife had physical relationship out of marriage with a man for 3 years. I went home and asked her straight and she confessed that she had physical relationship with him so much so that they had done kissing all over, seen each other naked and touched each other's private parts (masturbated each other) but she made promise on Allah that they did not have intercourse. I can't believe that they did not do intercourse, even if they did not do intercourse how a husband is supposed to forgive all this? If I leave her the 25 years of relationship of two families will be destroyed. But I can't forgive her. I try to forgive her but whenever I see her I imagine the two of them having doing zina and that is unbearable for me. Help me what I'm supposed to do. Even if I forgive her how can I cope with my imagination?

Covering the faults of others

Q: I don't know if my heart has truly forgiven my wife for this unforgettable act she committed (adultery). We are still together but I can't seem to forget and I can't seem to get over it. It is really bringing such pain within my heart and it's almost 3 years past. I know I have to be strong but I can't stop thinking about it. Is this because I didn't really forgive or is this just what I must live with. Please advise me how can I get past this and live a normal life with my wife without the memory of this betrayal?