ill-treatment

Marital problems

Q: I have two wives, my first wife is here with me and second wife is abroad. My first wife has not come to terms with my second marriage. Instead of paying attention to her house and children, she was always prying about what im sending to my second wife and when I contact her. I had many times told her, that do not think of that, it is not your concern. Just concentrate on home here and children. But she went on it on and off, resulting in irritating me. I started to leave the room when she started so that the matter should cool off, as per instruction of my mother. But the last time i did that..my first wife followed me and misbehaved with me with strict words and i retaliated back. After that she has separated her room. I am being normal with her but she is persisting in her attitude, my mother has tried to tell her, this is not doing any good to home or children, but her answer is i have cut of all contact with him (me). I will just give him food etc. other than that i have no relation with him. I am not forcing or anything now. Just complying with whatever she is doing. Please advise

Taking care of one's aged mother

Q:

1. Please advise on the following matter.

A person was looked after by their grandmother from birth to until their grandmother died.At the age of 13 the person learnt that their mother did not want them at birth.The mother in the meantime married a Tamil man who after some time became muslim.The mother had another child and chose to look after the second child and felt uncomfortable around the first child.As time went on still staying with the second child who married a Christian lady and chose to be Christian the mother still stayed with child number 2. Many years after child number 1 married and migrate overseas due to being unemployed. Child number 1 benefited because the mother was working and had her house.As time went by child number 2 managed to transfer the house onto their name and now when the mother is old does not want to look after her.The mother on the other hand refuses to stay anywhere else as she has devoted her whole life to child number

2. What is the obligation of child number 1 as they reside overseas. Inshallah please advise on this important matter.

Khuda Ta'ala par shikaayat karna

Q: Mujhe ek masla malum karna hai ek ladki hai jo apne waalid ki izzat karti hai magar uska waalid uski taraf sakht dil hai or wo ladki job karti hai ghar mai bhi paise deti hai magar uska waalid befikr hai wo kaam nahi karta or waalid 5waqt ka namazi dusro ki madad karne wala tahajjudguzar or haj bhi kia hua h sadqa zakat time pe dene wala islamic rules pe muqammal chalne wala hai magar uski beti ki taraf uska rawaiya thik nhi or uski beti job karti hai phr ghar mai bacho ko tuition deti hai paise ghar mai deti hai jisse uski maa uski shadi ka saman or ghar mai bhi kharch karti hai .. bachpan mai 15 saal ki umar tak bachi ko baap marta bhi tha ab nahi marta magr jb ladki gharpe aati h sham ko mehnat karke thak jati hai to uska waalid usse ghar ke kaam bina taras khae karata hai or kehta hai namaz padho to is rawayye se ladki 23 ki hone ke baad ab keh rahi hai ki allah uske sath galat kar rha hai or aisi aisi baten bol rahi hai to mujhe ye malum karna hai ki ladki ka pareshan hoke aise alfaz nikalna kaisa hai or ye ladki aisi condition mai h ki isko lgta h duniya mai isse zyda koi pareshan nahi ise kisiki sunni bhi nahi hai to ise kaise samjhae iska kya ilaaj ho skta hai or baap se koi baat nahi kar skta kyuki wo kisiki nahi sunta. Please detail mai batae.

Ill-treatment from in-laws

Q: I got married on 5 feb 2017. From that day my mother and father in law are disrespecting and showing anger to me. I am a working woman. After office I do home chores and when they are sick I take care of them. But still they are not happy and always having small complaints.

On the other hand, my husband loves me alot. He makes me understand but doesnt tell his parents to cool down. We are happy together but I get angry on him sometimes. Kindly guide me as I'm sad and no peace in mind and heart.

Ill treatment from one's father

Q: I need guidance that how I should react when my father hurts me and my mother with his rude words. No doubt he has brought me up, gave me education but nver showed affection to me. I am the only child of my parents but he has never pampered me. I only got love from my mother. Now I am 29 years old women unmarried but engaged. My father has a greed for money. My mother is a patient of multiple problems but he never cares for her, rather makes her feel like she is not so good. My mother is a very kind person but my father never appreciates her nor me. Neither he offers prayers. Now my question is when my father crosses limits fights with me, I control my anger but sometimes I say back to him but logically how should I react with him? When he don't talk to me how I should greet him when he don't see towards me because I fear Allah. Please guide me and ease my pain.

Mother in law ill-treating daughter in law

Q: My mother in law ill treats me through her tongue. Her words are harsh and hurting. My husband is very supportive and a pious man. He takes care of my every need. I am three months pregnant. I feel stressed out all the time because of my mother in law hurtful words. I stay silent when she insults me. But then I suffer from anxiety and constant headaches. Please guide me how to overcome this problem.

Respect for parents

Q:

1. A girl is unable to love her father because he hurts her feelings, will she be accountable for not loving him?

2. After marriage girl should give importance for her parents or husband's parents?

3. A girl is happy in her husband's house because her in laws treats her well than her own parents. So naturally girl starts loving her in laws more than her parents will she be accountable before Allah for not giving so much of love for own parents? Please note that this girl had to suffer emotionally while she was at her parent's home due to some of the behaviour of her parents.

4. Will we be accountable in the court of Allah if we have little hatred for someone because that person used to hurt our feelings through his/her words or behaviour?

Mother ill treating one

Q: I am divorced and have been living with my mother for the past 10 years. I have always been working and supported her for all that time. But last year for 8 months I was unemployed. And for this reason my mother did not provide me with food. I was also not allowed to bath. I suffered a lot but I never said anything or complained. By my second night without food all I could think about was filling my tummy. I went to the neighbour and asked her for a slice of bread. I went home that night and cried. But I didn't cry for me. I cried for those that didn't have a neighbour they could go to. It was a very difficult time for me, but Alhamdulillah Allah carried me through. I have accepted that it was a test from Allah and it has brought me closer to Allah. But what I do struggle with is the fact that my mother found it in her heart to do that to me. I have conflict within myself and I'm trying to let go of that feeling. How do I let it go and stop thinking about it. Also understand that as old as I am (41) I have never uttered a rude word or harmed my mother in any way. I always remain quiet when she for some reason is upset with me. That is why I am struggling to understand and accept her behaviour.