Q: I need help with a certain issue. I got married about 7 months ago. Recently i had this doubt on my husband related to his friend who is a female. To confirm it, i checked his phone in his absence and found messages in which he is flirting with her and telling her how much he loves her! There were even pictures of them together really close and him kissing her cheek! So one day i told him that i dont appreciate his friendship with that girl and that they should stop talking completely. After a big fight, he agreed. The problem is, he doesnt know that i read his messages and that i am aware of what he was doing. So he keeps playing innocent and telling me that i am creating problems in our marriage by assuming things that arent true. He blames me for our relationship issues and keeps telling me that he isnt doing anything wrong and that i am being insecure.
My question to you is, Even though my husband agreed to stop talking to that girl, should i openly tell him that i read his messages behind his back and that i know he is cheating on me? We might get into a bigger fight if he finds out i read his messages and that could damage our relationship maybe even permanently. Im scared he will leave me. But he needs to stop telling me lies about her just being a 'friend' and blaming me for things going wrong in our marriage. I need him to know how serious i was when i asked him to stop talking to that girl. I dont know what the right step to take in this situation is. Its hurting me everyday. Im scared he might lie to me that he stopped talking to her and continue to flirt with her behind my back if i dont confront him.
A: Since you have brought his wrong to his attention there is no need to discuss these matters. Try and win his confidence and let him be more and more attracted to yourself rather than showing him an attitude through which he begins to resent you.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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