Q: I have a few question and worries that has been troubling me for the past few years and I am not able to find a proper answer so far and I am not able to put this in the right order.
My eldest son is a very brilliant student. I have tried my best to provide him with forms of educations including but not limited to religious and modern education. He had been an awardee for many scholarships. After High-school he cleared the NDA (National Defense Academy) examination in air wing, however, he was not able to join it as the call letter came very late due to some political unrest in our state (Manipur, India) at that time. He was really frustrated after this occasion as this was his dream to fly.
Later after a couple of year, he got selected for "bachelor of technology" in a reputed collage (engineering course). Almost all the problem started off from hear.
Though he was given complete education on Islam, he began denouncing the faith. He also stater smoking lots of cannabis and Alcohol in the college. He seems very frustrated all the time during those period. It may also have been due to a girl he used to like back in his teens. He got a little deranged and got the orchidectomy(self performed) saying he would become a woman and that he have felt like a woman trapped in man's body. I withdrew him from the college after this instance and consulted a psychiatrist for any mental disorders. He had been on medication till recently.
He then joined another collage and graduated in economics. He appeared for the UPSC civil services exam (the top most exam in India for intact of personal in the various governmental department) twice but failed to clear the mains on both occasions although he have cleared the preliminary written test both of the times. He now works for and governmental insurance company as an agent manager. He dresses like a woman and is a supporter of the third gender.
Lately he has shifted his view to ward the line of being an atheist or an agnostic. Because of this I have cut all my ties with him and also from the fear of the society. He is opposing "All" religion citing reasons like he has a brain and used it like non other who are blinded by faith. He further complain that there is a lot of plot holes in all the religious scriptures and that they are all fabricated.
Now, My question is, I do not understand why he is turning into this. He was given proper Islamic education from a very young age and he used to practice obligatory prayers when he was a teenager. What mistake did I make in raising him that he opposed the lord? I am loss of what to do. What will be his fate in the afterlife? Did i do the right thing by cutting all ties with him. Please advice any Islamic and legal way that I can adopt and what relation should I maintain with my son at this point in time.
A: Our primary basis for our relationship with people is Allah and His Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Hence, the main basis of love is Allah and the basis for hatred is also the same. In this regard you have done the right thing. However, it is my humble suggestion that you make du`aa for him. Maybe one day Allah Ta`ala will give him a change of mind and change of heart to view things correctly.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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