advice

Q: Why do we find problems between the spouses in the marriage? At times, the wife is defiant and does not wish to obey the husband and at times, the husband conducts irresponsibly towards his wife?

Q: A daughter is displeased with her father and does not wish to have anything to do with him. The father on the other hand is very upset with the daughter and is also ignoring her. The relationship is getting worse by the day. What can be done to mend the relationship?

Q: I heard in a bayan that Moulana Maseehullah Khan Sb (Rahmatullahi Alayh) got his daughter married to someone who outwardly didn't look pious, not a sunnah beard, no kurta, etc. Bbut he had good akhlaaq. The boy then changed his life thereafter.

The point being mentioned was that we shouldn't judge anyone. Good akhlaaq is most important for a prospective spouse.

1. Is this narration true? Did Moulana get his daughter married off to someone like that?

2. Please clarify if this type of thinking is incorrect.

Q: My ex husband and I want to remarry after our divorce and we have 1 daughter. But my parents are becoming a big obstacle between us. My father is a very strict person and he said he'll beat me up if i communicated with him again or talked about him.. He misbehaved with my mother in the past but now he is a totally changed person and asked for forgiveness but my parents arent forgiving.. We both want to get back together. What must do?

Q: If a wife is demanding a new house, as the house in which she is living is not up to her standard, then the husband has the right to say ask your parents (wife's parents) to give you one ? as his salary is not enough to buy a new or big home.

Q: Is it right for a husband to leave his wife and kids and go stay with his mother even though they all live in the same yard? My father in law fell sick recently and was admitted in hospital so my husband didn't want to leave his mother alone to stay the night but he could leave his wife and kids to stay alone.

Q: Please advise me as I feel very embarrased. A year ago I caught my husband watching porn on his cellphone. We had a big argument about it but after all that he blamed me saying that I am not fulfillng his rights. From that time to recently I really tried to fulfill his needs but I find for the past two months he does not come to bed as usual. Instead he waits for me to be fast asleep and either falls asleep in the family room or comes to bed at about 2 a.m. Whenever I enter the room to see if he is okay he immediately switches off his phone. When I asked him what he is up to he begins to scream at me or denies doing anything wrong. I really feel embarrassed to speak to my brothers about this situation as I feel that my husband is probably addicted. Can I ask for a divorce as I feel nothing has changed.

Q: My wife was abandoned by her father when she was 15. and then sought by her father again when she was in her 20's. just because of the reason he was sick. Since then he has been regularly taking money from her. Recently he sold the family house and did not give her anything, and moved to another city and bought a house, knowing well that she cannot come to that city often , because it is far and also because of her job. but her father is regualarly pressurizing to come to that city and also regularly taking money from her. I would like to emphasize that he gives the money away which he takes from her and also the money from the sold house he had left over he is constantly giving that away too. This has been going on before i got married to her. she has three children from her previous marriage. Her father has never treated her as a daughter, but only as a source of money.

Now my wifes daughter is sick and her father is telling her to come to his city. In this scenario who should she prefer, her sick daughter (who is 12 years old) or the father. Her father is again blackmailing her that he is sick or something. I would also like to point out that his father also has his wife with him (who is my wifes step mother) and also relatives in that city. But he insist her to come every month and along with giving him money he demands gifts from her.

Also whenever he calls her or when she goes there, he demands from her to get a divorce from me, because i am abroad. This a brief scenario, Am i within my rights in the light of Islam to forbid her to go to him?

Q: I need advice for a girl. Basically she got pressurised into marrying this guy. She didnt really want to get married to him but anyway she married him to make her father happy. Anyway, shes been married a month and she says that she is not attracted to him at all. I think people pressurised her coz his a mufti himself, his dads a mufti and the family are full of aalimahs.

When they first met they put a shart of safeguarding her niqab and her family expected it as the boys family are ulama.Hhowever, from her wedding day, respect was not shown to that as his cousins just freely walked upstairs and went in the same room as her.

Its very cold where she lives so her niqab was getting stuck to her face so her husband goes to her to put a scarf around her face instead. She thought that he is a mufti so she must just listen to him but when she is in some shops he would tell her to take off the scarf from her face and once, he even pulled it down. When they went to eat, she kept on covering her face because of the men but he was laughing at her and was implying that there is no need to cover her face when they go out to eat (like everyones eating and not looking at you).

No one in the family is strict on sharee parda and she fears safeguarding her parda if she moves in with his family. They want her to live in a joint family sytem and it does not seem that living seperate is an option. When she raised the issue about niqqab (this was at the same time when she had told him she was pressurised to marry him), he said this was just a petty masala like she was bringing up an excuse to get out of the marriage and he says that his family are very strict on niqab (which they clearly are not). She doesnt even feel attracted to him. What should she do?

Q: My husband does alot of maintenance work at the masjid. He does not care for his service. But everytime he does something, some of the members says something like it should be done like this not like how you did it. This happens all the time. He is hurting alot. If he stops doing the maintenance, will it be good for him?