Q: My wife is in purdah and she wants to cut her hair in "layers". Is it permissible because I will be the only person seeing it? Will this be regarded as tashabuh bil kuffaar (emulating the kuffaar), because it is not for any fashion reason, rather only for me?
A: It is not permissible for your wife to cut her hair nor is it permissible for you to command her to do so. If you command her to cut her hair, she must not obey you. It is impermissible for a wife to obey her husband in things that are prohibited in Shariat. If she obeys, both of you will be sinful in the court of Allah Ta'aala.
وفيه قطعت شعر رأسها أثمت ولعنت زاد في البزازية وإن بإذن الزوج لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق ولذا يحرم على الرجل قطع لحيته والمعنى المؤثر التشبه بالرجال اه (الدر المختار 6/407)
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