Q: I got married a year and a half ago, I live with my in laws and it's not easy to say the least. My husband's family and my family have never gotten along. Even when we were engaged for a year. Since day one my mother in law has been cursing at me and constantly telling my husband to get a divorce. That he has many other girls lined up to marry him. The crazy part of all this is that this was a completely arranged marriage. My husband and I have never met before. It's not just cursing at me she goes on on to curse at my family. And my family Alhumdulillah is happy but we aren't well off money wise. So she feels the need to constantly tell me " you never had anything nice before, your parents make you wear ripped up clothing" and countless other things. You name it and she's said it. I try ignoring it in the beginning, but it gets unbearable. Then the my mother in law and father in law decided to call my father up and tell him to take me back to my parents for 3 months because we attended an event and I was spending time with one of my cousin. This offended my family very much. It hurt me a lot knowing my husband stood there and watch me get kicked out without saying a word to stop them. They felt as though I was being told to get punished. During the time I spent at my parents, my in laws took away all my gold saying I don't deserve it. They also have never let me see my wedding album. In the beginning I was told to stop going to school as well. We got an apartment but only for a month because my in laws told my husband to make me miserable. He promised to make me miserable as his mother told him too. Every single night was painful. We both would argue for hours on end. Than using the excuse that he couldn't afford it he forced me to come back to his parents house or he would divorce me. He became worse than his mom. Cursing, yelling, talking bad about my family. When I came back I started working and going to school to be away from the house so there won't be to much stress. I did get consent with my husband. They even go as far as making fun of how my sister is engaged to a cousin, also how my cousins married people who are not citezens. I never use to say anything and just stay there listening quietly.i started saying things but it doesn't matter. Even his sister gets involved and she curses at me as well. When she does I can't control it and I say it back. Even though I shouldn't. Now I've come to the conclusion to just completely stop communicating with my in laws. They still stand outside my bedroom door and curse at me. But I try to block it out. I just mind my own business and not say a word to my in laws. I have no communication with them but my husband tries to force it. I've explained to them that I'd rather not talk to them because it just means fighting and getting hurt. My husband is always there when his mom or anyone is treating me this way. He sees it with his own eyes but still doesn't see what's right and wrong. He doesn't understand because when I am at school his mom will gossip and fill his head with things. The doctors have also told me my body is stressed and I have high blood pressure at 22 and it's not normal. Please give me advice and help me out. It is really hard and I am losing hope. I don't want to give up because his parents have made me miserable. We have a lot of love between our marriage. However it can be so hard to deal with this since my husband doesn't move out his parents house even with them treating me like this daily. Please, please help me out in any way!
A: If you feel that you cannot manage then respectfully ask your husband for a separation.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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