family problems

Q: My niece had a proposal fixed n kept meeting in my house.i ws not well yet i cooperated. But she n her mom came late n the boyside came earlier than scheduled time. my husband had gone for namaz. i panicked when she came it was late n i as a hypoglaemic lost my temper due to hunger attack n told her something loudly in kitchen which were insulting words to the boy which he heard in the hall and broke the proposed engagement.since then i m begging for forgiveness from niece her mother,the boy .offering gold n money n even sawab of my umra but my niece refuses to forgive me n has orderd my sister to break relationship wit me.she curses me n uses bad words n filthy language for me n my innocent girl. What should i do now? I m taking treatment for anger issue. I m feeling very sad and depressed.

Q: My parents have been divorced. My father who is a foreigner lives alone. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to myself and siblings. I want to maintain good relations with him however each time I would try to engage with him he would react abusively by saying nasty things about my family members and by cursing myself and family members. (Cursing my mother, brother, sister, husband, etc.). What should I do? Is there any Amal I could do in particular to help this situation?

Q: I need help. There is a big family feud between my husband's family and my brother in laws family. I feel that I am stuck in the middle. I can’t even go to my sisters house because he won’t allow it and it is the same for my sister. Could you advice me on what I can do to resolve this matter?

Q: I have some family problems now a days..nothing was like this before..my younger brother never behaved like this before..now he stands in front of father ..argue with him even ready for quarrel..he was most obedient of us bt now his behavior is totally changed in a week...his age is 17 years..also there are many other problems which have started at once..i want peace in my house before...is there any special dua or prayer for it??plz help me out

Q: My mother wants to leave her husband's house and stay in a rental house, because she is fed up with hardship and hard luck though they (mum and dad) are hardworking, investing and striving, yet still no change.

My grandfather married four wives, but it is just the three family's that are living in the same place (compound). My grandfather had passed away. My father is the eldest son of the three family's, he wants to share the compound (land) into four (four wives) because the last last wife's children are claiming authority over the place and are not in favour of the share though the other parties have agreed to the share.

The compound is so dirty, meaning the black magic, witch, sorcerer's work, nuts had been buried in the compound from all the three parties. There is now hatred, envy, bad heart and fighting especially between my father and the last wife's family. Due to all this and more, for 21 years now.

Let me outline my mother's point for her leaving the house.

- recently, her son (my younger brother) passed away. An old woman (a neighbour) had told her that she (old woman) dreamt her (my mother's) dead son saying she should leave the house. I have two brothers, but it is now me and my youngest brother

- Lack of happiness, love, comfort in the compound and even from her husband

- jealousy and evil eye

- her dreams are mix up and frightening

- because of the fighting from the last wife's party.

- No respect for her husband (the eldest son) and it seems black magic is used on him for no prosperity, no growth...

- the compound is not comfortable, it is filthy, demoted, rats every where and the house had wearied out

- And the mother (my grandmother) of her husband had once told her that if her son (my dad) is continuing to stay there, he will not prosper. My mum has been persuading dad to find somewhere for them to stay while he is processing the sharing of the place. But my dad is firm in not leaving his father's house because it is an expense under rental, but my mother's elder sister (staying in America) will pay the rent for a year and perhaps the following years. My dad said he didn't see anything that should make her leave because he provides the basic needs, shelter (worn out zinc house).

- Mum wants her and dad to transfer to the rented house by the end of the month but because mum's sister is paying the rent is another reason for him not to leave. My mum want to take my youngest brother (9 years old) with her but dad refute this, and said she can go, with the two girls (another elder sister's daughters, she is dead now) she is taking care of.

We are Muslims with little Islamic knowledge. The rented house can be another home for him where he can drive to, (own a mini van), rest, spend the night(s) if he doesn't want to leave his father's house. To me if she continue to stay there she will become sick because with all her thoughts about the evil eye, malice, envy, backbiting, abusing and insulting noisily, no respect from the children, no control, no regards for her husband (as the eldest son). The compound is physically, morally, emotionally and spiritually abnormal/unclean/unfit. She has made up her mind and psychologically it will affect her negatively if she continue to stay with him. My dad did not want to repair or develop his apartment because the compound is about to be shared/divided, then he can develop a structure on his own part. Does she has the right in Islam to leave though my father had permitted her but he is angry? 

Q: My mother sold her house without asking me and my wife. Suddenly we got shock that she sold house. My wife sent a whatsapp massage to my sister and cursed all. One of my brother' s wife got naraz. When we were going to Umrah we came to know she was naraz with us. My wife called for sorry. She forgave but broke the relation and told she will not keep any relation....in fact they sold house without asking us....my wife became emotional and cursed them. Now after three years we come to our country they did not come to pick at airport we already informed them ....did not try to meet. In fact we went to their door but did not call us. In fact I invited them on Eid breakfast but my brother's wife did not come. My brother came but did not eat any thing. Please guide me according to Islam. We want to keep the relation but they did not take a single step. Please guide us who is sinner?

Q: My in laws, especially mother in law tends to fight with me. She always blames me for her sons actions. We both working people, I work shifts and he works office hours, we always visit them on the weekend and for occasions in the week we are present and Thursday nights. If he works or I'm working then we can't go unfortunately, now she doesn't want to understand that if he is working, she will say that he is telling lies. She then sends me messages that it's because of me that his acting this way, all his sisters don't work, only his brother works but he works flexi hours, I don't know what to do, I really love my husband but feel I don't want to be part of this family, I can never boast about my husband to her because she becomes angry and jealous. Please advise as I'm suffering from depression due to constantly being oppressed by his family.

Q: How to deal with a dominating family? Basicaly my mother is always undermining a divorcee daughter and always ignoring what she enjoys etc. No respect for her. etc. How do we build the ties? The daughter has moved to her own place but the problems are still there and it's damaging the relationship. The daughter tried talking to her siblings and the parents but it's ignored. In Islam it's important to have family ties etc. what's the best approach?