Bid'ah

3 days, 40 days khatam and sending esaal-e-thawaab for the deceased

Q: Please could you clearly and explicitly explain the reason for 3 days, 40 days (etc.) Khatam not being permissible.

Due to many families already being entrenched in these actions, what other permissible substitutes (preferably containing feeding, reading) you advise with can be carried out, fulfilling the same purpose which is to send esaale sawaab for the deceased?

Being forced to attend a khatam

Q: My family has a katham every year, the changing of the flags. I know it's not as per the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) teachings, and it's innovation. But I'm forced to do it, as I will get shouted at.

Please advise, am I sinning if I do the katham? I tried to refuse previously and I got swearing. They don't understand it's not as per the sunnah and I'm living under their roof. So I'm basically forced to do it. What do I do?

Attending khatams

Q: I was invited to attend a khatam. Can you explain what it is and am I in the wrong for not attending as I was requested but I follow the sunnah of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and was it ever mentioned to do khatam or milad and so on?

Celebrating Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)'s birthday

Q: Someone sent me a link and said that Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) celebrated his birthday because of what is stated in the link. Could you please calrify and tell us a way to explain to them why we cant celebrate Rabi ul awwal?

Did Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) fast on Mondays due to the fact that he (sallalallhu alaihi wasallam) was born on a Monday?