Customary practices

Q: We follow a practice in the case of a marriage proposal that first the boys mother comes to see the girl, then both parties make itikhara, if positive, then we go for investigation, meet the boy personally and thereafter when everything appears to be positive, the girl and the boy are shown to each other face to face. My question is that when the girl is shown to the boy after all other steps are done, can she show her hair or uncover her head in front of the boy only with whom she is being proposed to marry?

Q: I am an unmarried girl of age 32. I lost my father 9 years back. I dont have a brother. My mother is not getting any suitable alliance for me. I changed my mind and started searching for a divorcee and widowed person with child also. But then also I didnt get. Hence i started thinking for a married person also. Each and every day I am facing problema and coming close to gunah. No one is understanding me. Every time they are telling me to have patience.

I got a person who is married and has a 7-8 years old daughter also and he wants to marry again. He stays about 900 km away from me and says that he will only tell their family members after gettimg married to me. However he says that he will surely come with 8 to 10 people from his society to marry me. He says that he was searching for another girl for the last 3-4 years as he has some issues with his wife. For that he has said to his in-laws also that he has problems and they should ask their daughter about it. But nor his wife or his in laws are listening or giving any attention. My mother does not agree. All of the family members are saying that I will be cursed by his first wife and I will be hurting his first wife by marrying him. Pls suggest what to do.

Its an extreme condition for me.

1. Is it ok to marry that man?

2. What does the shariat say about 2nd marriage of a man, does he destroy his first marriage by 2nd marriage?

3. What does the shariat say for the anger and curses of the 1st wife?

4. If the man is not at all ready to divorce the first wife at any cost and intends to give equal rights then is it right to say that the 2nd wife is destroying the first wife's house?

Q: I am proposed to my long relation cousin. Both of our parents agreed to our marriage. Actually it is their arrangement. Also with their permission we are speaking via phone. But due to my education my parents don’t want me to do nikah right now. My question is, can I discuss only with my future wife (in shaa Allah) about mahram and give that mahram amount secretly and make this relationship to be halal? Or else am I allowed to keep one or two witnesses only and make this relationship halal? I don’t want the blame on my parents because i don’t feel like its their mistake.

Q: Is it mandatory to seek prior permission from the first wife for second marriage in Islam.

Q: Is it permissible for me to take another wife?

My wife fell pregnant after 16 years with twins and thereafter a 3rd child. Since then she has been living at her parent's home which is already 2 years now. I understand that in the initial stages it was very difficult but now they have grown up so it is a little easier. I am very depressed at home as I really miss my wife and children around me. I live with my parents, but we have totally seperate quarters.

My wife always made excuses that she cant manage on her own. I am prepared to get a domestic worker to assist her with house chores and my parents are also prepared to help.

My parents dont see their long awaited grandchildren for many many months. I always travel on the weekends to visit my children but I really miss them when I am back home. Its really lonely without a wife and children for so long and heartbreaking to leave them. I also became a father after 16 years but have never seen the milestones of my children and how they grew up. Sometimes I actually cry myself off to sleep thinking about my children. My mother always cries and pines for her grandchildren which she was so excited for. I also admire other women who gave birth and returned home and can make an effort to manage. I always wonder how mums with twins managed on their own? My wife did come home for a week when the children were smaller but claimed the house is too small for 3 kids and she can't manage.

Will it be permissible for me to make a second nikah without informing my wife as I dont know how long more she intends staying at her parents house as I am very lonely and depressed.

Q: I'm a 22 year old female and I have a friend who believes in hisaab. He wants to get married but he went to the imam to ask him whether he is compatible with the girl. So the imam asked for her name and date of birth to determine compatibility and whether she would be a good wife; how she will be with him and his family. He also predicted that my friend would most likely remain unmarried because he won't find anyone compatible to him. And my friend doesn't know how he used names and date of birth to determine compatibility because the imam went into a different room.

I told my friend that this is haraam in our religion because only Allah knows our future and this is no different than going to a fortune teller or believing in astrology and horoscopes and it's clearly mentioned in Islam that this is haraam because it's associating with Allah, but he doesn't believe me. I'm very worried for him and I would like to know from a knowledgeable person if this is allowed in Islam. 

Q: There's a practice here in my country that after the bride is engaged, she can't see/appear in front of anyone (even females) from the groom's family. Is that practice from Islam?

Q: I got my catch hold ceremony in October 2015 but still we didn't do nikah because my in-laws are having some financial problems. What should I do in order to marry quickly?

Q: I want to know if it's halal to get marry without anybody knowing, not even my parents. 

Q: Me and this guy that I met had been chatting for almost a year. He phoned my parents to ask my hand in marriage and they said no because he has been married twice before. So we got married without them knowing. I had 2 witnesses present and a Moulana did our nikah. It has been 3 weeks since we got married and I am still staying by my parents house. Now I want to run away so I can be with my husband but not sure if I should first tell my parents that I am married or just run away and deal with the stress at a later stage or should I ask for a divorce?