Nafaqah (Financial support)

Q: When my son has his own job and he is earning then is he dependent on his father?

Q: I would like to know if a husband has stated that all the costs for the children going forward needs to be split 50/50 between the parents, will he still be liable for payment that he has not contributed to even though it is for the children (e.g. medical aid costs that he has paid 50% of his share since the child's birth).

Q: When I got married, I used to live in a standard size room. When my sister got married, me and my wife moved to another room which is a smaller room. I gave up my room to my sister and her husband. Now my wife is making an issue to get back the same room which we used to live in before. What does Islam say about this?

Q: My married son and his wife says that there is no duty of the daughter in law to make food for the father in law, mother in law and brother/sister in laws. Even it is not her duty to make food for her husband, rather it is the duty of the husband to provide food for his wife and they claim that this is the law of shariah. My question is, do they get married only to fulfill their sexual needs and bear children? What does shariah say in this regard?

Q: About 7 months ago (the first week of Ramadhan) my wife requsted a divorce, she requested her brother to collect her and asked me to issue a talaq. I refused saying that it was not what I wanted. I requested that I will only abide if she gave me the request in writing, with the reason why she wants the divorce. Until this day I have not received it.

She moved in with her mother, who stays in the same town. Over the next few months I begged her to come back home and each time she refused. I kept on providing for her and he kids and sent her gifts etc., not once did she do the same. She even told me to arrange my own domestic worker to clean our house as she cannot manage to see to the house anymore. After numerous requests for her to please return home as we are still married, she refused.

About 2 months ago, I stopped giving her an allowance as I felt its not fair since she doesn't want to come home. I still provide for the kids what they need. She says its unislamic as I have to still maintain her and her expenses. I have asked her to come home and fulfil her responsibilities which she refuses.

Please advise if I should conitnue giving her money and also, what should I do as she keeps on telling the kids and everyone else that I do not provide for her. I have left the car I bought for her with her and also pay for her fuel, and have not used a cent of her money in our marriage. I pay the kids school fees and give them an allowance as well. I feel since she has chosen to move out and stay with her mother, then her mother should see to her expenses.

Q: I want to marry a Christian lady who is ready to convert to Islam. However, she has two young kids aged, 2 yrs and 4 yrs. The kids, as she told me, were born out of wedlock. What does Mufi saheb say in light of Qur'an and Sunnah about marrying a lady described above and what will be the relationship between me and kids?

Q: I am married and have 3 kids. I am the eldest in my family. My mother, one married and one unmarried brother lives with me in my house becasue my father passed away 9 years ago and my family moved in with me after that. Now both brothers are working as well. The relationship between my wife and mother is not good and it is going from bad to worse even after some reconsiliation and guiding. Both of them regard want their rights in Islam.

My wife is now demanding a separate accomodation and requesting me to ask my family to get a separate house because the house in which we are living is owned by her. I humbly request my brothers and mother but they all get annoyed and my mother gets very rude and very disappointed. I request them all to get accomodation near my house as they can afford it or I will support them in any way possible. I told my mother that I still love her and she is my first love. I respect her and I made this decision because of  my love for her. Did I do the right thing or did I disrespect my mother? 

Q: My husband believes that because I’m from Europe, not an Arab and a Muslim convert I should be working. We moved to Europe recently from the Middle East and my husband told me “survive by yourself”, meaning he would not pay any longer for my extras like clothes, cosmetics, books, etc. It hurt me deeply and since then I never asked him for anything. He said sorry but after that I’m not able to accept any money from him and I refused anything he wishes to buy for me. I answer by “God bless you for offering but no thank you”. I really feel terrible to accept anything from him and at the same time I do not work which makes me feel sad.

Q: I have been living with my in laws over a year now and been having some problems with my in laws which I feel is affecting me and my husbands relationship. My mother in law does not like it when I go out with my mom or if I visit my aunts. I feel that she is controlling me. I asked my husband if we can move and he said no but I feel that if I stay any longer, problems will only get bigger.

Q: My question is regarding an illegitimate child. My ex husband and I had a child out of wedlock. I was not a Muslim but he was. Before my son was born I embraced Islam. (I was single and not married) Four months after the birth of our son we made nikah. My ex husband has been supporting us as I'm a housewife and we had another child as well. Now that we got divorced my ex husband said that he will no longer pay anything towards the "illegitimate" child. The child carries his name and surname. We were married for almost 8 years. He's also not supporting me financially during my iddat time.