Taubah and Repentance

Making cuts on one's body

Q: Want to ask you that there is a person he or she self harms means he or she makes cuts on his or her body. Everytime he or she says that it's the last time but the next time he or she does the same thing again and again. What does islam says about this? Will Allah Ta'ala forgive? What will be the punishment for it?

Oppressor seeking forgiveness

Q: In the light in these few ahadith, what is the method of the zaalim in order to be forgiven with Allah and also with the person he has abused? Can the mazlum person ask forgiveness from Allah and that the zaalim without asking forgiveness with Allah can be forgiven? If my question does not make sense where it is wrongly asked can you please tell me what is the attitude of an zaalim in order to no longer be mean?

1. "When the people see a zaalim and they do not stop him from doing wrong then soon Allah Ta’ala will punish them all” Imam Tirmidhi (rahimahullah) has recorded this narration on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr As Siddiq (radiyallahu ‘anhu) and has declared the Hadith authentic. (Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 2168 and 3057)

2. Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever has oppressed another person concerning his reputation/honour or anything else should seek to be absolved by him before there will be neither dinar nor dirham. If he has right actions, they will be taken from him to balance the injustice he did, and if he does not have any good actions, the bad deeds of mazlum will be loaded onto him.” (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 2449).

3. Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reported that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do you know who is a bankrupt person?” They said: “A poor man among us is one who has neither Dirhams nor any goods.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The pauper from my Ummah would be he who will come on the Day of Qiyamah with Salah, fasts and Zakah but he had hurled abuses upon someone, slandered others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of someone, shed the blood of another and struck others. So his good deeds will be credited to these people. If his good deeds get depleted before he can settle, then their sins will be flung onto him and he would be thrown in the Fire. (Sahih Muslim, Hadith: 2581)

Keeping a clean heart

Q: Its been a while I'm having some confusion about my attitude whether its something one calls self respect or sort of pride or ego. I'm not able to differentiate between the two terms. I'm aware of the virtues of forgiving others and have positive thoughts for others yet at times, no matter how much I try, I cant let go off the feeling that somebody did that to me, hurt my sentiments, and how much I try to get away from such negativity, it comes back to my mind with even more potential. Like, I will think "Did you forget what was done to you? Do you still wanna go and meet them? They cant be your allies like the way they used to be before.

One thing I would like to clear, it's not that I'm an egoistic person, I forgive easily but maintain a distance, even if my heart is willing to get the same ties back. Is it a version of pride? I need advice regarding my behavior towards such attitudes of people, even of close friends!

Taubah for making gheebat

Q: I've made gheebat of many people but now I have repented.

1. Is it necessary to ask them for forgiveness as they do not know that I've made gheebat about them?

2. If I've made gheebat about somebody many years ago and they knew about it at that time but most probably forgot it now, do I have to ask them for forgiveness?