marital problems

Q: I am a married woman. My husband is impotent. What can I do to feed my sexual needs apart from fasting?

Q: I am very stressed just wanted to know mufti. You the only person I know who can tell me what is right and what is wrong Islamicly. My husband is continuously communicating with his X wife and he hides what they discuss. When I ask, he says we are talking about the children and yet the last born of their kids is almost 25 years of age. So all four kids are big enough to come or call their father and talk to him themselves so why should he still talk to his X yet he told me I am not allowed to communicate with my X and ever since I do not talk to him but he says he needs to speak to his X. It hurts Mufti. I feel like I am nothing. What can I do?

Q: I had a excellent relationship with my in laws until Monday night. My wife made a request to visit her Granny at her parents place before leaving back to Cape Town. I agreed. We arrived at my inlaws place. I greeted everybody as usual and sat down with my father inlaw and brother inlaw. Azaan called and we all left for Esha. When we returned from Esha I did not go in to the house, I sat outside on the portch. I could overhear father inlaw, my wife, and my brother inlaw discussing his technicon registration, so the discussion went on for and hour or so while I sat outside on my own relaxing. My wife and father inlaw step out of the house, and my wife said she is ready to go, but she and my father inlaw was still saying a few words to each other, while I sat on the couch not saying anything. My father inlaw all of a sudden began to swear at me and shout me, telling me to get out. When i questioned him in a polite manner as to why is behaving in this manner he began to aggressive and wanted to beat me up. I was shocked. I got up jumped in my car and drove off. I was in a state of shock,it was the second time he has done this to me, The first I overlooked it and walked away. The next morning he sends me a text apologising for this, I did not reply as I am very upset as I have always respected this man and treated him like my own father. My question is, my wife shows no remorse for her fathers actions, secondly I need to know that i have decided not to go to my inlaws home anymore as I feel threatened and uneasy, is the permissible, and I will only allow my wife to visit once a week, and not go any where with her parents without my consent. Please reply with advise also.

Q: I am married for 23 years, My brother and I am a reverted to Islam at the him at the age of 14 years and myself at 17. I have and had many Muslim family members as close as siblings and nieces and nephews right down to great nieces and nephews. For 10 years of my married life I was not allowed to communicate or visit with my brothers and sisters. My husband told me to choose between my family or him and my children. My children still being very young and needing me left me in reality with no choices. The last five years my husband allowed me the contact but no visits. My eldest sister who I grew up with and shared more than just a sister bond. She made sure I had everything of the best, what they could not get because my dad died when I was 2 years. MY sister took the place of my mother in matters my mother was not able to due to her ill health. My said sister resides in London U.K. She is not a muslin but accepts me and the rest of our family for our believes. My sister had 2 times 3rd stage aggressive breast cancer over a span of 8 years, I was not allowed to visit her although we had the fund. My sister was a month ago diagnosed wrongly and when further tests where done it was diagnosed she has brain cancer in two areas of the brain that is not possible to operate. They doing what the can to relieve the severe pressure she has on her brain and help her to manage her pain. Her oncologist and Dr has informed the family that there is nothing they can do accept help her to manage. That the cancer is spreading and she dont have long to live, Allah (SWT) knows best. They giving her more or less a few months. She has already lost all mobility in her arms and legs. My sisters and my muslim brother is going to London. Its my wish to join them on this sad journey. My nephew is offering to pay for the flights if any of us cant manage it. It is my sisters wish and ours to be able to see her and spend time with her for ALLAH (SWT) alone knows. Unfortunately my husband in incarcerated at present and is not able to go with me. I assured him I am not going to be alone my elder sisters that are older than me and my elderest brother who is a muslim will be accompanying me. Halaal provisions will not be an issue, I will make preparations for that. The shock of my sister condition, landed me in hospital and sessions in therapy with a psychiatrist. I lost my mother at 23 in a very drastic and tragic manner too, she died of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I explained to my husband her condition and my need to see her one more time, I dont want to loose her like I lost my mother when i didnt get a chance to see her alive one more time and tell her so many unspoken words. All my husband told me was, he sympathizes with me but no i cant go to see her and the money is not the problem but because he is incarcerated so i must stay home and only allowed to the Dr and my sons work place, thats all. My condition is like his, I am also incarcerated like him. Yet not long ago he told me that I must always be prepared to leave anytime for Durban if anything happens to his mother or any of his sisters. I feel this is so unfair to me, my family is worth nothing to him but his family must always be important to me. My husband has never lost a sister or a brother neither any of his parents. I lost, my father, my mother, 2 sisters, a brother. and one more to loose. He cannot relate to my losses and pain, so deals with this very callously like before, he expects me to deal with it and get over it. Please advice as im torn.

Q: Me and my wife entered into nikaah almost 3 months ago. At the time of nikaah she accepted me as her husband in front of more than 100 family members. Our date of marriage was fixed in February 2017 but unfortunately during her stay at her home in these three months, misunderstandings grew and she is now not willing to live with me. I really want to carry on the nikaah and do not want divorce. What should I do according to the teachings of Quran and Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam)?

Q: My parents have been together for over 20 years but have had marriage issues for a very long time. Constantly fighting and arguing. Most of the time they do not speak to each other at all and my father has left the house three times but has come back. My parents even did their nikaah a second time the last time my father came back, for fear that their nikaah had become void by their separation. Now my father has come back again, but my parents have not spoken to each other at all for nearly 2 years. They do not say salaam to each other or even look at each other, let alone speaking to each other. We have tried mending their relationship numerous times, getting the elders involved, etc, but in the end they continue to fight and argue and it never works. The only reason they are staying together is because of us. Three of us are older and understand all this, but my youngest sister is 6 and my parents don't want to divorce for the sake of their children. However my mother is extremely worried that because of the way their marriage conditions are, their nikaah is not valid and it is haraam for them to live together. So taking into consideration all that I have said, and the fact my parents have not spoke to each other or had relations for nearly 2 years, is their nikaah now invalid and is it haraam for them to live together? My father has not actually divorced my mother by saying it verbally.

Q: Myself and my husband were leaving to go on a trip. I told my husband I'm going to perform salaah before we leave and went. He after about 10 minutes I'm not sure could be less or more started calling me. I did not reply as I was praying salaah, and he knows I don't reply when I'm making salaah. When I was done I went to him and he said to me "stop wasting time" and I should pack away what was laying in the kitchen. The thing is he knew I was praying salaah and he said stop wasting time. What is the ruling on such a situation?

Q: Because my husband totally owns the house we live in for 34 years, does that mean according to Islam that I cannot invite my son and his family from a previous marriage to visit us or spend a night with us. Please help me here, I was told that it is my husband's house and he has the right to refuse them, but his family and friends have the right to visit and stay. That since it is his house, and even though we are married, have 2 kids, that he has the right to tell me that I can leave his house. Please advise me, this us causing me much depression.

Q: I need some advice on my marriage problem. After four months of my marriage my husband confessed to me that he doesn't love me at all and is in love with another girl from before marriage. He only got married to me because he was angry and wanted to get over her. He never gave any feeling like he doesn't like me at the beginning of marriage he even accepted me as a wife, it after 2 or 3 weeks I could see he was changing and had a strong gut feeling. Now he asking me for some time to change but doesn't know exactly how long it will take. He accepted he loves his ex too much he doesn't know if he could forget her and start loving me. I really wanted to know in this situation what am I supposed to be doing, are we still supposed to be staying together as wife and husband and is our marriage still valid can I also include all this is really affecting me mentally.