advice

Q: I have social anxiety that has been growing since the past year ever since I moved to this new country as a student. The nature of my research-based program also "allows" me to work just by myself without having to go through daily social interactions, and besides I've never really felt comfortable hanging around with my colleagues. I wonder if it's sinful to do such social isolation, because I actually always feel guilty since I feel like I contribute to nothing to people's lives and my presence has no meanings in their lives (in which I always try to make up by doing more charities). I've always wanted to change but it's just so difficult to connect with anybody in this place, and right now I just look forward to finish my study and go back home soon to recover my "normal" life that I had in the past. How sinful it is and how can I make up for such bad habit in a way that doesn't make me uncomfortable all the time just like when I'm being surrounded by people?

Q: My husband is one of your fans. He used to listen to your speeches but he is not loving me. We married in July 2017 then almost 7 months passed. I was pregnant then. But I got a misscarriage. Now my husband is abroad. So I'm living with my parents. My mother in law and sisters in laws are always making problems between me and my husband. So many times my husband told he is gonna divorce me. I don't know what to do. My sisters in laws are messing up everything. They don't like to see me and my husbands happiness. Because of that they are telling lies about me to my husband. Then he also trusting them and hurting me. What can I do?

Q: I have a friend who is passing a very hard time in her marriage. She got married by force of her family to a person who does not give her respect she deserves. I know in Islam, a wife should fulfil every need of her husband. But if the husband is not respecting his wife, he is using her only for his pleasure. My friend cries everyday because of physical and mental torture she bears by her husband. She has not yet started feeling love for her husband and when she asked him not to touch her now, he insists, then he forces her to have sexual relations with him.

My friend is going into deep depression day by day, and she can't even talk to anyone about it. She asked me if I know any dua that can prevent her husband to touch his wife. I said to her, in my belief there is no such dua that exists. But I feel feel sad for her thats why I am contacting a mufti to help me with a solution so that I can give her some relief.

Q: The problem I am facing is related to my love life. Is it going to get better? Is there any dua I can make or anything because currently I am going through this issue. It is affecting my present and future. Please let me know.

Q: I asked my husband in our prospective meeting if we were going to live separately and he replied in the affirmative. At the time of Nikaah he told me we'll have to live together for 2 years so I can save. I reluctantly agreed. However in the first few months when problems started arising I asked him to move out and he kept assuring me that we will soon move out and things will get better.

Today it's over 3 years and we still haven't moved out. I cannot adjust to my mother in laws lifestyle at all. There's no timetable and she does everything at her own time and according to her comfortability. Also my Sister in laws keep coming many times during the week, on weekends and holidays. I don't seem to have my own space too. I'm entitled to one en suite bathroom and the room barely has any space. My son doesn't sleep in a cot as there's isn't enough room for one. He therefore sleeps with us in the bed. I'm having severe backache because I'm less mobile the whole night due to the tight space. Many a times my husband has to go to sleep in another room because of my back pain.

Last year when I asked him to move out he asked me to live together for two more years to which I clearly declined. (I don't know if I'm sinful about this) But now I feel I just can't cope with all this. My son is nearly two and he's still sleeping with me. I feel really frustrated and at times feel like terminating my marriage because I feel nothing is being done in support for me.

There's many issues too which I feel will get better if we move out. I've never been settled from day one and I feel I need to settle down for the betterment of our marriage. The fact that he keeps reassuring me that we're moving out and nothing is getting done physically really frustrates me and this causes me to have frequent arguments with him.

Q: I have a scary problem. This is how my story begins. Since I was young, I prayed as how my mum asked me to and obeyed her. If I asked Allah for anything then He granted it to me, Alhamdullilah. Since I reached the age of 15 my life changed. I started missing some salat and now I am 18 and in this stupid situation. I want to change and I don't know what's stopping me from becoming a better Muslim. I cry almost every day. I dream some times and see the grave and the hereafter. Sometimes I see in my dream that I entered Jannah. I want to change. Will Allah accept my repentance? I really need help from you ustaadh. I want to memorize the Quran but I can't do anything since I am in school and am not successful. My problem is if I die, will I enter hell? 

Q: My husband has 2 wives. I am his 1st wife with no kids. From the 2nd wife he has 2 kids. One passed away. After getting married to the 2nd wife, his behaviour changed toward me. He is very bad towards me and very good towards her. He scolds me for every small mistake and sometimes beats me if I oppose him or if I'm rude to him. One day I asked him why his behaviour to his 2nd wife is very good. He said that she is not understanding and patient like me. So if he hurts her then she will not let him meet his child. When I asked him that why is his behaviour bad with me. He said that many times he feels angry with his mother, sister, friends, relatives and 2nd wife. But he cant hurt them and he doesnt want to lose them by behaving bad. So he takes out all his anger and frustration on me because losing me is not a big deal since I cant give him children in future.

I cant tell to my parents and every body else is telling me to have patience. I am in depression. How can I explain to my husband that Allah is watching his actions? 

Q: My queston is related to wife not obeying her husband. We are married for more than 1 year. After my marriage, my wife don't like my mother she has problems with my mother daily and she creates some issue on it. I understand she is new to my family and needs time to adjust. She has made a negative image about my mother in her mind and she didn't see her positive side. I agree that sometime my mother is not right. I daily explain to my wife to please obey me and respect my mother.

My mother never asked her to cook food or to obey her. She doesn't interfere in my life but beacuse my wife has created a negative image about her she didn't like her. She always saysthat  aap stand nhi leta aap mujhe support nhi karta all that. I know my mothers nature. She is not like that, in every family few thing happen but my mother what she say she take it as negative. She always says that my mother is not understanding and that she is married. She needs to draw a line daily.

Now with grace of Allah she give birth to a beautiful baby girl. I thought things will change but it is going worst. My daughter is 21 days old and she doing the same thing. I don't want to leave my mother but I don't want to leave my wife and child. I try my best to explain to her through hadis and dua but she is not understanding. I try to explain to her what the Prophet says when your parents reach old age. Don't say anything to them and keep patience but she is not understanding because of that my health is impacting tension depression etc. I dont know what should I do If u ask me she is loosing my respect. She is not on my expectation, she is not obeying her husband. Please tell what should I do if u ask me I dont place for her in my heart I just ask her to respect my family she is not doing so daily we have fight I am tensed and in pressure please suggest me the positon solution in lighting of islam