Lillah and charity

Q: I collected funds from people specifically for someone's surgery, and these funds include Sadaqah (charity). However, now that I have the money, the person scheduled for surgery is refusing to go ahead with it or is asking to use the money for their personal expenses instead. 

Furthermore, my own parents are suggesting that since we are also needy, we should use this money for our own medical checkups and medicines. 

In this situation, what is the Islamically permissible course of action for the person who collected the money?

Q: Is it permissible to give money to non-Islamic charities like Wateraid or Sightsavers?

Q: Can I give sadaqah on behalf of myself and my wife to a non-Muslim?

Q: I sponsor a Hifz Orfan which means I sponsor a child to become a Hafiz and to get an education and to have healthy meals throughout the day but the charity I do it through which is called Penny Appeal has links to Shia Islam. 

I googled Penny Appeal and it says 'Penny Appeal is a non-denominational international humanitarian organization and does not identify as exclusively Shia or Sunni'. It also says 'Penny Appeal serves beneficiaries from all backgrounds regardless of religious affiliation'. So the children I sponsor could be Shia or Sunni or they could be Shia when they hit puberty. So what shall I do? Shall I cancel the donation or keep it going?

Q: There is a Moulana running a school for special needs children. The school was renting a premises and were looking to purchase a property. 

The Moulana told me a property was identified which would be suitable for the school. I donated 1 million rand for the purchase of the house. 

Few days later I found out that the Moulana gave the money to Hawala people as an investment. I therefore went to him and asked for the donation back as he did not use the money for what I gave (and it was clear that it was for the property). 

The Moulana confirmed my finding but said the school will get returns and I cannot get my money back because it's like I'm licking my vomit to ask for it back in light of the Shariah. 

I did not make him the owner of the money. Rather he was supposed to purchase a property with it which he did not do. I would like to know if I can demand my money back in light of the Shariah and use it in for another Lillah project.

Q: Is it more preferable for me to give sadaqah (old items) to my domestic worker who is a non-Muslim or to a reputable Islamic organization which donates to Muslims?

Q: I wanted to enquire if Iman (faith) is a necessary condition for purification of wealth (giving in charity, to purify one's wealth, without expectation of reward)? 

If a person does not identify as Muslim anymore, and has apostatized, and does not believe in the religion (does not believe Islam is from God but instead that it is man-made), but still believes in the financial aspects of Islam (eg: giving in charity and purifying any ill-wealth), would his purification of wealth be considered valid (as he is not a Muslim)? 

Would he need to repeat this purification of wealth (whatever sums of money he gave in charity with the intention of purifying his wealth) if he does tawbah and returns to Islam?

Q: Spending on charity is tax deductible. Is the reward of charity decreased if I claim tax back on my charity?

Q: If I allocate a certain amount of money every month for general sadaqah (poor, car guards, domestic etc.) then can I use from these monies sometimes for my kids or family if I run short or I need change etc.? As I understand that spending on ones family is also sadaqah? If I use from these monies for my family do I have to replace it?